No presents from in laws for my sweet 2 year old rant

So my daughter's second birthday just passed. The night before her birthday my parents asked if they could stop by and give her a gift. My mom is into sewing and crafting and she gifted my 2 year old a pair of home made dolls. My mom has been very good at making sure we are all thought of on our birthdays. This includes 9 children 9 children in laws and around 30 grandchildren. I have said this over and over again my parents have been fiscally responsible their entire life. They don't have much but they do own their home. They garden and have a massive food storage. No debt and quite a bit in savings. She gives small gufts to all of us ON TIME and I have no doubt being financially secure has helped with being able to do that.
Now my in laws gave my sweet 2 year old.

NOTHING!!

Yes that's right nothing. Here we are 1 week later and not a single card has been put in the mail. But instead of focusing my rant on my deadbeat egocentric in laws I want to turn my attention to my wife's grandma.

Sorry grandma nothing personal but I have to rant and ask some questions.

She too didn't give my child anything and I didn't expect her to. But I've had some questions lately that make me wonder why she can't. Let me explain my wife's Grandma just turned 80 and is just recently a cancer survivor. She is very sweet and somewhat forgetful I get that but during all of these cancer treatments her van was repossessed. The same van I repaired last Christmas for her christmas present. This van is barely worth 500 dollars and it had a loan on it? Title loan maybe?

So my wife's grandma is 80. She's been in retirement for 10+ years now. She had a rough beginning. Her husband, an officer, was killed in the line of duty when their son (my wife's dad) was just 6 years old. So their is some heartfelt understanding to her beginning circumstances. With her being married to an officer killed in the line of duty she received and still receives a check and benifit's from the state of California. Yet here we are 50 something years later and things have gotten bad that she has decided to sell her burial plot next to her former husband. This has begged the question to me. Where is the money? I mean did she not have any financial goals in life such as owning a home? She had 1 kid a pay check she didn't have to work for and still could not find it within herself to work hard and save for her retirement? Last year she provided a great Christmas for her son and his wife. She also provided good christmas presents for her great grandchildren. Some had better presents than others. But how did she do it when she has very limited income and no savings? She applied for a koles store credit card and maxed it out. Is koles getting there money back? Probably not. When I first met my wife she told me her Grandma was loaded. At one point she was making a good income but eventually we find out it was all show. Cars were being financed and eventually repoed and money was not being controlled. Eventually here we are. Old and broke.
I bring this up for 2 reasons. One to let myself and others know that the decision you make today do impact your quality of life later INCLUDING the simple joys of giving gifts. And 2 to show yet again that my hand in life somewhat sucks. There is barely any suplimental support when it comes to help with me and my family.  While other families with kids are being spoiled with gifts vacations and even a check here and there. My family has been on our own from our first child to our last. No financial and not alot of physical help either.  It's not all bad we have learned a lot yet have a little spoilage every once in a while wouldn't be bad either.

Cheating ticket holders of the motab christmas concert (last one)

I got the tickets! Yes it's finally true I finally got tickets to the Motab Christmas Concert! Now before you say I'm lucky or that there are others more deserving than me let us compare stats shall we. I'm 32 and never been. So if your say 27, I'm older and have waited longer to go. So there:/ The first time I wanted to go to this concert was when I was 12. 1997 to be exact. 20 years! My older brother took his then wife to the concert in the old tabernacle. I'm pretty sure the tickets were easier to get back then. Lastly this is my 10th time in a row trying to get tickets. Let me put this in perspective. My mom told me to enter the drawing of the concert back in 2008. Barack Obama wasn't even president. That was the first year I put in for the drawing and I got this famous e-mail

Back then my oldest daughter was not even 1. We were living in an apartment and a trip to the MOTAB Christmas Concert would of been an emotional boost. Especially considering the long hours I was putting in at work. I had just donated plasma for my first time after waiting 8 hours. And I was working EVERY Saturday. Life wasn't easy.

 I have put in for tickets every single year since then. For 2009 with David McCullough  and Natalie Cole 2010 with David Archuleta and Michael York 2011 with Jayne Seymore and Nathan Gunn 2012 with Alfie Boe  and the candy bomber Gail Halverson. The one year I really wanted to go. Had no clue who Alfie was but when I saw they surprised the audience with candy from the sky in parachutes and told the story of the candy bomber, wow I wish I was there. Ksl news was letting everyone know they received tickets that year. I'm sure they put in for the drawing like everyone else  and just got lucky. I mean come on the church doesn't do favorites and just give out tickets to a church owned news station or church employees. Right? (Catch my sarcasm) I continued trying for tickets in 2013 with guest artist Deborah Voigt and John Rhys-Davies 2014  with the sesame street muppets and Santino Fontana. My kids would of loved that but while I lost others like this person had hookups.

(So I can't find the post but basically there was a lady who had a special conection to someone in the motab ticket world. She called her "her secret friend" she asked this friend after not getting tickets through the lottery system if she could get her tickets. The lottery system only allowed 4 tickets. She got 5 through her friend. Very unfair considering she has been several times to the concert while others like me have to wait. If I find the post I will edit this post)

2015 was the last year for the lottery. That year again I lost. Guest artist
Were Laura Osnes and Martin Jarvis. 2016 was the first year I thought I had a chance. They changed it from a lottery system to a first come first serve. Nope still lost Guest artist were Rolando Villazon.

Other people who have been able to have priority without going through the lottery system include this person.

This person went 2 years in a row because they get tickets through her husbands work. Where exactly does he work? At Senator Hatch's office. So Senator Hatch and possibly other political offices get ticket....why?? Again I wouldn't be asking if it didn't take me 10 TIMES (9 years) to get tickets!

 If you missed my first blog on this subject it's here.

http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2014/10/earlier-this-year-before-i-deleted-my.html?m=1

 Again I write this out to show I have waited and tried A......LONG.....TIME.

I'm excited in fact for years I have refused to watch any previous years concerts on t.v. due to my somewhat extreme jeolousy. The system still is not fair far too many people  get tickets EVERY year. Or multiple years like this person.

2 years in a row.

Luck is one thing but giving tickets to the same people every year NEEDS TO STOP. more though, people who have never been need to have first priority when the ticket selection start. I still see way too many people saying "yay we got tickets AGAIN" and way too many people saying they've stopped trying to even get tickets because just like me they've tried again and again with no sucess. I've read blogs where a person has bragged about getting 5 tickets from a friend or her "secret source" when that year the max tickets you could request was four. (Mentioned above) I've read blogs where it's "Christmas tradition" to go because so and so's aunt or mom is in the choir and they get tickets EVERY YEAR. I've even read one blog where a lady in the choir who asked her niece how many tickets she needed. She requested 3 and she got them. How many tickets do the choir members get!? Look The Motab Christmas Concert is a highly coveted treat. It should not be made into a Christmas tradition because not everyone who wants that tradition (like me) can do that. Unless you do the music and the spoken word where no tickets are not required. People who have went the previous year or years please step aside and let someone else go.

Well I'm done ranting on this subject. I made a list of 10 goals and this one was just added in January. As long as nothing is in my way and I get to go to the concert  I am done with my rants on motab christmas concert cheaters. But before I end can I at least add a few suggestions to the ticket distribution center.
1. Revise the ticket processing for the
Tabernacle choir members. Every year they get ALOT of tickets for their friends and relatives. Some who get to go every year while again others like me put in for 9 years straight (10 times). It's honestly starting to become an entitlement issue. Not necessarily the choir members themselves but the choir members family. It's now expected they get tickets every year And may I say something else to the distributor at the Ticket Office, wasn't it President Monson himself who came home from Germany with no shoes and less clothing because he gave them away yet it's funny how NOBODY can sacrifice a ticket!
My suggestion, split the tickets in half among the choir members. I understand that the choir members should get tickets but every year? No. Half the members, 4 tickets each switching every year. Meaning if I'm in the choir this year I get 4 tickets next year I don't. That easy. 2nd stop giving tickets to church employees or News stations or Senior Hatch's office. Again why are politicians getting them every year??while others like me put in 10 tines before getting them? In my other blog post I talk about a friend of mine who was able to go twice because his Dad worked for the church. Again why are church employees getting them when we ALL pay tithing?Seems as though one or 2 suggestions I have wrote about have been enforced. One performers no longer get tickets and 2 they do put your name on the tickets.

Well I'm done ranting on this subject. Anyone else who has tried at least 5 times and not gone I give you the reins to tell your story and what you think needs to be done. You can continue the rant. I'm done.

Life still sucks.

(Before reading my rant please note that all trials suck but the death of a family member is by far the worst trial someone can go through. I would never wish that on anyone and anyone who has had that may you receive healing and blessings.)

Life sucks some times. 1 year ago I was debt free. I didn't have a fancy car but the bills were being paid easily. Fast forward to now, both vehicles that used to run great are either gone or soon to be sold due to car problems, we bought 2 newer cars on credit. ( No not a car loan. Hell no I won't do that again) One for the family the other for a buisness venture. Our income has went down my buisness venture has not panned out as much as I would like dentist are overcharging us doctors are overcharging us speaking of doctors I have had the worst ear infections in years and that happened right before our first cruise. Our income is slipping I'm working 3 days a week now (I actually enjoy that) I have teeth that need to be fixed that I can't afford. My chest was hurting. I'm not alarmed but can't go to the dr. Credit cards are maxing out on basic essentials and I'm trying out a few government programs. Actually 1 government program the other one I'm just trying to get my kids on chip. But anyways what gives? I didn't tell anyone what I made when we tripled our income in one year. It was as Devine help let us have one year of fun with a TON of restrictions then took it away. You can buy an ATV buuutt it wont run right. You can go to Disneyland buuutt your income will shrink soon after. You can have that house buuutt your income will go down and you'll lose popularity in you buisness. You can go on a cruise buuutt your going to have to fork out 1000 dollars to get your tooth fixed 300 dollars to get your ear fixed suffer through 3 weeks of pain and on the morning when you depart while your still in doubt that you should even go then will you finally find relief.
Don't get me wrong. I believe in being tried and tested. But havn't I already been tried and tested. Didn't the several expensive dr visits try and test me. The ones others had help with through government programs and I didn't. Wasn't I tried and tested when I skipped out on college to work hard and have a family while others went to college had families through government assistance and church assistance and again I did not. Even when I thought I finally was being rewarded for my many years of trials barely making it. Selling my blood for formula barely seeing my family. I have one excellent year but within that year marriage problems vehicle breakage medical problems and even financial problems. Money won't fix my problems but lack of it does make it worse. Honestly I know am going to have trials and don't expect a perfect life but I do wonder why others lives our more perfect than mine because of financial well being. If only I could taste their life for half of my life while they taste mine for half of theirs. We all have trials yet I still contend some trials are worse than others.

Not going to take it.

I think with the recent news events of a nurse being falsely arrested and me feeling a connection to the story. No I am not a nurse and I am not even comparing any of my situations to hers. I have however worked in the service Industry for the last 10 years and have had may I dare say A-holes as customers I too have been falsely accused of not doing my job or overcharging. I have been yelled at told I was an A-hole and one guy even told me after I told him after 10 years no one has treated me as bad as you, his answer to that was, "well there's a first for everything." After I quit I made a few promises to myself I was going to treat those in the service Industry with more respect than I ever got. I don't care if they forget to fill my drink or avoid my table. I will find reason before I find fault. I have proven this true over and over again tipping even the worst servers because I felt they still deserve it. The other thing I promised myself was that I was not going to be treated like like a "Whipping boy" when certain situations arrised. This is not to say that nobody is going to treat me unfairly and get away with it I mean come on that's impossible. Imagine all the road rages you would be in. All I am saying is if my integrity or my families integrity is threatened and I feel it's in my best interest to defend it I will not shy away. Which brings me to my next story.

A few days ago I stopped at my local car wash to get a rinse and clean out my car. Working for a rideshare company, I have to keep my car clean all the time. There is large dumpster in the back of most car washes that is for YOUR CAR TRASH. It is actually against the law to dump any other trash in this bin. It's called Theft of services. Got that? OK moving on. Normally when I go to a car wash I stop by the large Dumpster to clean out my trash. It makes more sense to me to just dump it there than any other trash bins they have because eventually it just ends up there. Right after I threw away a diaper a some receipts and I believe a pepsi bottle I noticed a older man approach me with chains in hand telling me he is sick and tired of people using his trash cans to use for their household trash. I told him I was just using it to clean my car. He then reiterated what he had just said saying he was going to lock up the trash can to put an end to it. I again reiterated why I was using it trying to be friendly when he raised his voice telling me that if I have trash use the trash cans over by the vacuums. At this point I realized his frustrations of other people were directed at me. I also realized after 10 years in the service Industry I didn't have to take that amymore. It was as if I felt something snap. My body went cold and my anger came out. I was done with people treating me that way. I was the customer! And he the owner I believe was treating me like crap and I let him know that. I think it startled him because he actually stopped working and stared at me. I basically told him I wasn't going to be treated that way and that I was planning on using his services but after the way I was treated I will find somewhere else. He stared at me I stared back and I left. The next day I stopped by to see how the trash cans look locked up. He didn't finish it. Makes me wonder if he gave up or felt bad?
Anyways, Stand up for yourself. Not in all situations but there are times you need to defend yours or your families character.

Breaking point? Accepting government programs?

So I don't know if I am at a breaking point or what. For years my wife have done things on our own. When my wife became pregnant I got a second job. When medical bills came up I picked up more hours. When I needed formula or food, when all of my money went to rent expenses or medical bills I donated plasma. I didn't ask the government for help like so many others did. I didn't go to my parents or my church. I looked at my situation and found a solution knowing that some day some how I would come out ahead of those who have chosen the easier path. My choices would reward me right? Last year it seemed as if that was becoming true. We started out the year deeply in debt a 520 credit score a car loan and no idea if our plans of moving were going to happen. Slowly yet quickly my credit healed. Bills were paid off. Credit cards that have had balances for half a decade finally were paid off and we're paying me money and finally after 8 years of being slave to my car lender I was free. I quit my job and have been a stay at home dad for the last year. Yeah you would think that I have finally been rewarded for all of my standards yet have you ever been given something with restrictions? For example; a nice restored car but you can't drive it. A free vacation package that's only redeemable if you fly out a certain day oh and by the way airfare and food are not free and they cost more than the vacation itself! Thats what the last year has felt like. I bought an ATV, fixed it and it BROKE. Can't try to fix it because I have so many other things breaking. Right before a trip my newer van breaks. Spent all summer toying around with it finally take it to a mechanic. They charge me 400 dollars and 4 week's later it's toast! My other vans power steering goes out. I took it to a mechanic who says it will cost 1000 dollars to fix it. Anyways nothing is getting done I'm ranting and complaining again so I'm finally caving. I'm done! I need help and until this start heading in the right direction I will try hard as I can to get that help. My kids are getting free lunches at school and soon I hope to get them on chip insurance. I've tried doing it the right way but continually I and my family are being punished. I have 10+ goals in life. Not one of them said not to work not one said that life should be easy. I want a few amenities some relaxation and a freaking honeymoon!! That is it. Come on universe. Some LUCK and good FORTUNE my way would be nice please! Here I am saying this while people are losing their homes and livelihood in Texas. I hope they rebuild soon. Yes their problems are worst than mine but still I've had almost 10 years of non stop restrictions. 10 years of bad luck. My savings is drying up and I just need help. I'm finally caving for any and all help. Not to depend on but to build me back up. It's my turn to have my Facebook plastered with good things. It's my turn to go on coveted vacation. It's my turn to have fun.

And that concludes my rant.

I believe in good luck.

I have a confession, I buy lottery tickets. Sometimes I myself wonder why...
If luck were on a scale from 1 to 10 where 10 was the luckiest such as your lottery winners or the people who win vacations and trips all the time and 1 was your unluckiest of people who simply do not buy tickets because they always lose. The people who try to call the radio station or will put in for free stuff but will never win. I would probably put myself at a 2. Maybe a 1.95. I'm not lucky! My wife is not either. I have probably put in and called to win at least a hundred times. In all I have won once. And that was a t shirt! As far as the lottery goes, I again probably win around 20% of the time. Yes I do have my lucky streaks but they're not life changing and the value of them are minuscule even compared to some of my friends who have won bigger prizes.

Do you know anyone who is simply lucky?

Do you believe in luck? Do you believe some people are just lucky?

I do and it sucks sometimes. I mean come on UNIVERSE. Why them and not me? Why not spread some luck around.

I have 10 goals in life I would like to see happen in my lifetime. I'm adding one more today.

THAT IS..

To have some financial lucky thing happen to me that would be either life changing such as financial fortune or the more likely version of winning a top prize from some sweepstakes such as a dream vacation or even a disneyland vacation or some type of cruise.

That's never happened to me and yet I still believe it will. That is why I buy lottery tickets.

Before I get to my stories of luck (obviously from other people I know) I want to address a saying I've seen on Facebook. That is that the lottery is a poor man's tax. Ok I agree with you that your chances of getting wealthy are very very slim and the vast majority of people who do play the lottery lose especially when it comes to such games as the power ball or mega million. Then there are those who are addicted to the lottery who simply should avoid it at all cost. What those friends of mine on Facebook should do is go to an actual lottery winner and say that. Yes you may become rich through hard work and such but there is no way you can become instantly wealthy overnight unless your stock skyrockets or you win the lottery. That is again why I play. Yes it's a small minuscule chance.

But it's a chance!

And I typically have around 2 days of dreaming of my winnings before the disappointment begins. Yet my day dreams are great..... until I read off those numbers.

I myself have a few stories and again I will get to those after stories of some people I've met and some people I know.

Hmm where to begin..

How about a short story.

You know how much I love a good vacation right? Once at work the lottery topic came up. After sharing the most I've won a guy next to me said he won a vacation prize worth 28000 dollars. That included cash hotels airfare shows and much more. He enjoyed a 2 week vacations with just him and his wife living it up in Europe.

2 weeks is a bit extreme without my kids but still 28000 dollar prize?! As in the words of Napolean Dynamite, LUCKY!

In between these stories of luck I have decided to share my stories of how unlucky I am.

Summer/Fall 2006. My wife's father invites us to go to an air show outside of Pheonix Arizona. There was a vendor there who was advertising their company by giving away a cruise my wife and I are not interested in the product so we pass but still put in for the cruise. When I turned around after filling out the form my wife claims she saw them throw away that form. Too bad camera's weren't as popular as they are today. There are laws against that! My guess is they were acting like they were following state laws on sweepstakes with NO PURCHASE NECESSARY to avoid a gambling fine yet they were not going to give away a trip to a person not interested which is illegal yet still my luck.

We have these friends from our old ward who again seemed to have around a 6 or 7 on my lucky scale. Always winning at company parties even a few radio station prizes. At one company Party they won a pair of bikes among other stuff. There was a charity event we all went to. This was back in the days of us having no money and constantly fighting off medical bills. Our family and their family had both purchased raffle tickets for several prizes. The top prize was again a cruise. (I'm beginning to think I'm forbidden to win a cruise.) That family won something we didn't. The top prize actually went to the main organizer. Scam? I don't know everyone knew she deserved it for her efforts but again come on. Spread some luck my way universe.

We had these friends durring our early years in our marriage who had been to the CMA'S twice. Yes twice! How? No they don't have alot of money. They won both trips two years in a row from two different radio stations! The trips were all inclusive too! Airfare food and tickets to the CMA'S. Two years in a row!!

Do you remember the pepsi promotion in 1998? The Pepsi pop culture game where you collected phrases such as "As If" "Shop Till You Drop" "Talk To The Hand". If you found all of the words to the phrases you won a certain prize such as a shopping spree, trips, or even a brand new jeep wrangler. Now for this next part of the story I have to go on what I remember and what I heard and experienced. Looking back now I kind of doubt everything I am going to say is true but then again....... I don't know!
Anyways here is the story as I remember it. By this time I had been getting into snowboarding a little bit. I had been about 3 times and liked the sport and wanted to be better so the only prize I wanted was the snowboarding trip to Vail. From what I remember the phrase was "Been There Done That". The hardest word to find was "Been" The trip was several nights at some lodge in Vail Colorado for 4 people and included 5000 dollars spending cash. While I was at school I found out a friend of mine had "Been". He found it in a 24 pack. We decided to split the trip. We would both bring one friend and split the 5000 dollars where each of us would have 1250 each. If this actually happened this would be by far the best materialistic thing that has happened to me TO DATE that money can buy.
Well it never happened. Apparently after trying and even physically fighting his sister for two days his sister hid the promo word and he couldn't find it. As far as I know she didn't even cash in the prize which makes me question if it was real or not.

I apparently have more unlucky stories so here another one of mine.

My wife's grandma (step grandma or nana to be more specific) took care of an older lady who had a house in Staton Island. She was also very wealthy. She would hire my wife's grandma to take care of her cat's in Staton island. Yes you read right, cats! My wife's grandma could not go so she asked if her granddaughter could do it. She would get airfare and several grand per week by simply feeding cats! This was durring the summer after our second year of college. We also called up a summer camp to see about being camp counselors and we secured a job in New Jersey. The plan was to live at the cat house together for 3 weeks and then move to summer camp for the rest of the summer and eventually fly back home.
Again it didn't happen.
Once again our bad luck prevailed and we had to cancel the whole trip.

My wife won a thousand dollars from taco bell once. Apparently she found a game piece and left it on her dresser. When she returned home from school it was gone and her mom pulled up with a new car. Yep you guessed it she stole the game piece cashed it in and put a down payment on a car. Here's the real kicker she never admitted to doing that. She claimed for years that the game piece was lost. It wasn't until years later after talking to an aunt my wife finally realize that she had lied. She did in fact cash in the game piece that belonged to my wife.

For a grand opening of a new Papa Johns Store we were giving away free pizza and a bike. An older lady came in to enter the drawing. Before leaving she said with confidence that she would be back for the bike later that day. My boss smiled and wished her luck. Later that day she came back and WON! Later on I found out she is one of those lucky people who really do always wins. She's won anything from cash to trips including a few cruises. Again UNIVERSE you think you could let me have her good luck for 10-20 years while she has mine.
My hometown did a Christmas drawlings one year. They gave away alot of good presents that kids in my town could only wish having. At least my brothers and I wished we could have them. Did not win a thing. Hard to watch the snobby kids from school take home their build a monster kit or Legos they just won.
Speaking of Christmas my home town would do a coloring contest around Christmas. After both my sister and my brother won I decided to focus on one stores picture more than any other one so I could win a prize. I used colored pencils and really focused on staying inside the lines. Even used a brush to even out the colors. But again NO PRIZE!

Since writing this I've had tools I've needed stop working or break. My van that needed a new ac pump is not working and still has no ac, my wife has broken her 5th or 6th mirror she just got and my outdoor umbrella snapped in half.

Again just wishing for more ALOT more luck.

I think for now unless I find more stories I'll leave it at that. Life is full of unfortunate events that let us down and I still believe some of us gain our luck someday. I was just telling my wife we should endure our hardships well because it's training us with sympathy charity and management skills for the luck and blessings thar lie ahead.

Have a great weekend people and good luck to you.

My rant to Tran

On the show New Girl, Nick while trying to be alone has an Asian guy (Tran) come sit next to him. The scene is absolutely hilarious with Tran not saying a word yet Nick is able to solve his problems as he talks to Tran.
https://youtu.be/5iO1B5WRnoU

I feel like this blog is my "Tran"

It's cheaper then counseling and yes I have solved alot of problems through writing and quite frankly miracles have happened after this blog was created

And still I have things I need to talk or rant about. So let's start a new session shall we?

Tran?

So it's no secret that I have had many frustrations with my inlaws. They have spent their money with no thought of how it might affect them in the future. They have credit card debt student loan debt car loan debt and yet they still push themselves further in debt. 2 years ago my wife and I unknowingly put ourselves in debt by purchasing 2 phones. Verizon had change how they do upgrades. You now had to purchase your phones instead of signing a new contract. We were not able to simply upgrade with a fee anymore. We didn't find out about this till I logged on to my wifes verizon account. We were purchasing phones now. Both phones combined cost us around 1400 dollars. I wish I had known that because I could of saved us alot of money. With that knowledge in mInd I now know how phone bills work and am now saving close to 50 dollars a month. In fact I pay just under 80 dollars for two phones. My in laws on the other have upgraded once every year. The upgrades get more expensive and their phone bill goes up more and more each year.

How does this affect me?

Well for starters last year when they did their upgrade they charged it on my card. That upgrade was not suppose to be paid off till 2018. When I found out about the charge to my card they made up a lie and told me they thought it was their card. My guess is that they tried charging one of their credit cards got declined then went ahead and charged it on mine. Both cards are on the account.  I have since romoved my card.

Then we have the vacation story I wrote about. Where they came to visit us claimed they didn't have alot of money and used the hip surgery as their sympathy. We paid for their gas gave them a free car to use and even paid for a meal and entertainment.
I wrote about that here.
http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2016/10/relative-financial-traps.html?m=1

At Christmas they still claim no money. My daughters got 5 dollars each to the dollar store. They on the other hand got fit bits from my wife's poor grandma traded them in paid more than 100 dollars to get Google watches. But they didn't have money for Christmas?

In January of this year their financial decision caught up to them and after being honest with them because I felt I owed more for the phone bill I payed 40 dollars more to help them out. 4 days later they asked us to prepay our next two bills because they had no money to pay the rest of the phone bill.

If I may back up one month. Durring New Years Eve they asked us to come down to see them. But they had no place for us to stay so we forked out 500 dollars to stay at a hotel. The reason we couldn't stay there? They had a roommate and the roommate had a dog that wasn't good around kids. Yes yet again a DOG rules the world and my kids are secondary citizens.

So you would think that after a surgery and after running out of money that they would be ready to finally start facing the fact that they need to pay off their debt.

NOPE!

IN February not even a full month after I payed their phone bill they upgraded their phones. My FIL wife paid over 200 dollars to pay off her old phone so they could go back into debt 1500 dollars for 2 brand new phones. They also have a more expensive insurance plan on those phones.

In March they took a very short trip to Utah. They had no money to fly (again I wonder why??) AND even had to split the cost.

And finally here we are in April while I first started writing this they just got back from tennessee spending more than a week in the great Smoky mountains at a cabin with relatives and friends.

Again why do I care.

Here's the reason why I care. I am a person who will give another person more and more chances as long as I believe there is change. You could do one nice thing to me and i will have indefinite respect for you until you start lying to me or be rude or unfair. I was once told by my Father in laws wife while sitting on her brand new couch and while they had a sizeable amount in their bank account that This was her house. Her exact words were, "This is my house, do you understand me?" Before leaving. To this day I don't know why she said that. Was she a financial high. I remember they had just bought the couches I was sitting on. Did she feel the need to warn me that she wanted her couches to stay perfect? Unless your ready to kick someone out of your house,
YOU NEVER SAY THAT!

I just want to be treated the same way you were to treat someone else. I know my in laws are not asking for financial help from their relatives durring this trip. They probably are living it up. They probably spoke kind words and had a great time. If they treat them that way why in ALL circumstances won't they treat us the same way.

This carries to all aspects of life and even to my parents. They too have their faults. Twice I have reached out to them for financial and living arrangement help. Both times they either denied me help or put in extra steps such as a contract so I could receive their help. Will there ever be a day where I can show them my version of why they were wrong in their decisions.

Move to the Back of the line sir.

I want to take some time and let out another rant on a  frustrating event that just happened.

My wife and I finally went on our first cruise. Yes I know it finally happened. The cruise was great. There are a few things I would change but for the most part everything was good.

Again for the most part.

A few times durring our vacation our supposed honeymoon (to be debated) it felt like we had a curse on our shoulders a "back of the line" curse

 before I get to that

The cruise, for now, I would not consider it our honeymoon. 1st of all I had extreme pain before it. Two weeks of none stop earaches headaches tooth aches and back aches. 2nd it was sort of again buisness related. Not me and my wife just enjoying time with eachother. So for now and until I get some rules written up that will not be not considered a honeymoon. Cruise yes honeymoon no.

So back to the rant.

I want to keep this short and simple.

I like fairness. I like consideration.

During this trip it kept feeling like my wife and I were being pushed out of the way or told to go to the back of the line.

For example,  durring our trip were trying to get some food at a buisness party. We saw the end of the line and jumped in. Unfortunately for us someone in the actual line had created a gap (probably from not paying attention). He pointed this out by saying rudely"uhm the end of the line is back there"

(Move to the back sir)

The very next night at the fine dining hall people again were casually sneaking up in front to be with there groups. People in line behind us were seriously coming around us to be with their friends continually pushing us farther back.

(Back of the line sir)

The company we are in and we're with on this cruise was really small when we joined. Our sponsor has gotten so rich and so popular so fast that I felt she barely recognized us on this trip. Other sponsors were holding classes and inviting their team members to eat with them. We ate alone

(Back of the line sir)

Lastly Delta airlines (our first Delta flight by the way) threw the last punch to our guts when they moved us to the very back windowless corner of the plane. Look, I love the thrill of flying. My wife and I both share turns having the window seat. We booked 10 weeks early and even chose 2 seats always by a window. Three times in a row our seats were changed! Why chose a seat within your booking process if they're not going to give you that seat your asking for?!! The first two flights through United were OK. sure they changed our seats and even put my wife 2 rows back but on the first flight the family  (who probably arranged and asked to sit together ultimately steeling our 10 week out prebooked seat) offered to give up the seat so my wife and I could sit next to each other. (Thank you mystery family) Our next flight we were upgraded to the front of the plane. Great except it wasn't 1st class and again my booked preferred window seat was again taken by someone else. With all of this "wonderful" treatment we were offered on an airplane it wasn't as great as "watching" the 1st class passengers a  few yards away. I'm pretty sure their seats were solid and booked right. Sure fun watching those rich (chose a nice but subtle mean phrase right here) enjoying their drinks their snacks and using their "private" bathroom. My wife and I usually fly southwest so we didn't know about the 1st class bathroom "rules" my wife went to go use it since it was ALOT closer than the one in the back. The flight attendant asked her if she was first class. She let her use it after letting her know it was for FIRST CLASS ONLY.

(Back of the line sir)
Or the plane in this story.

Anyways this brings me to my last story. The ride home. My FIRST flight on Delta. Again I booked the flight early. Again I chose seats near the wing with one by the window and one right next to that. Yet again an entire plane was prioritized before us to the point we were put in the VERY BACK! no window no reclining seats. My itenerary said I had preferred seating but apparently they honestly don't care!

(Seat choice included? Yeah right)

Again!
(Back of the line sir)

So here's my advice to help you avoid a bad experience like I have.

First chose Southwest Airlines. Their seating system is not reserved. It is based on your ticket and when you checked in. You simply chose a seat when you board.

2nd if your stuck with another airline be the squeeky wheel. The squeeky wheel gets the attention and is listened to. Call them up tell the airline and your booking agent you require "special" treatment due to some "medical" problem. There is no doubt in my mind that is what happened here. Families, groups, and special needs called ahead eventually stealing my reserved seats.

Lastly book on their website. This cuts out the middle man like Expedia who again have shown they don't give a crap. That way your dealing solely with the airline that sold you the ticket.

Hope your travels are better than mine unless it was you who stole my seats then I hope you get sick and your vacation is ruined.

April's "I can't afford it award"

I haven't done one of these for a while. I wanted to spend more time sharing ways to save money. This morning however I decided to go ahead and give away another "I can not afford it" award.

One of the things that annoys me in the car buying world is how little value there is in a brand new car. Let me explain. If I buy a new car for 50k I get a nice looking vehicle that is a conversation starter an impresser good looking probably drives nice and can get me from point a to point b BUT it cost ALOT for all of those. Say we were to take that same 50k and buy not one vehicle but several forms of entertainment. ATV'S, boats, campers trucks, cars, trailers, and vacations. Is it possible to purchase all of those and still have cash left over? Absolutely! So why in the hell would someone give up so much money or in most cases go into so much debt for ONE source of transportation one source of entertainment that you don't own (your bank does) that loses value every mile you drive and can be a financial disaster with one simple hiccup. A job loss, loss in income, medical emergency even a toothache could be enough to force you to sell your car. You lose all value you put into it!

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?

6 months ago this person took out a loan and did just that

Why?

Now he/she has lost 6000 dollars in 6 months.

6000 dollars!!

And now they cannot continue to even make payments.

The car has robbed them!!
the cost to drive it was over 2 dollars a mile!!
Imagine if gas cost 40 dollars a gallon.
Thats the equivalent of what they were paying!

Thats not all

Around one thousand dollars was probably spent on insurance. That makes the total loss 7000 dollars! In 6 months! To drive 4200 miles!? (I forgot to show the mileage)

It's not worth it.

Stop paying car payments!

New cars are NOT WORTH IT!


Congratulations you won the "I CAN'T AFFORD IT AWARD"

I'm not done.

I came across a 2015 Arcadia. Only 2 years old that was half the price!

I also looked up what this arcadia cost brand nrw.

Any guesses?

This brand new would probably cost 45000 dollars. 2 years latet and nearly 24000 miles the car has lost 20000 dollars in value

20 T H O U S A N D!

How can i make that any clearer??

If we were to say insurance cost 600 a year (very generous by the way)

And gas mileage was an average of 20 mpg the cost per mile would be .98 cents. Nearly a dollar a mile!  That is absolutely ridiculous!

Let me close by saying this. First of all my blog is at fault with the different size lettering second our economy will eventually experience another recession.

 It will happen.

You will lose so much more if your a slave to your lender. And while your crying out the world is unfair and that it's Trump's fault ( it isn't by the way) When your Car is repoed and your house in foreclosure remember this.

 I for one will be very picky when I donate to any charity. 

Because I didn't buy a 2000 dollar car to save 28000 to donate to the food bank whIle you bought a 30000 dollar car that is part of the reason you are at the food bank.

School lunch verdict.

The verdict is in and I am approved....

For REDUCED lunch.

Free would of been better but in a way I like it this way. I can still keep my pride and still proclaim I rarely get something for free. Still don't understand how I am 20 thousand dollars less than the federal wage limit for my family size and still they decide I qualify for reduced but oh well I'll take what I can get.

And I don't feel guilty.

Quite honestly the school probably throws away more than enough food to cover my kids.

How much will I save? Well. I usually let my kids chose which would they prefer. A packed lunch or school lunch. Lately due to slow sales I've pushed more for them to take their lunch. There's no need for that now. Lunch cost 1.95 at our school. Reduced is 40 cents. With 2 kids per day I will save 3.10 a day. 15.50 a week! 62-68 a month!

So what am I going to do with all of this saved money? Honestly I probably won't notice it. My income varies alot and. Any savings I have go to reduce my home loan or increase my savings. My mortgage is the only thing charging interest right now. What I save does go far.

Anyways.

Just wanted to express some satisfaction that's happening.

Have a great weekend!

Taking advantage of free school lunches.

It's no secret that my family has struggled. At times we were barely keeping our heads above water while drowning in debt. Medical, credit card, car loans, and even the utilities were constantly threatening to shut off our power and our gas. Through it all we held our heads high, paid our bills, and sacrificed. I donated plasma for extra funds and my wife did what she could to keep our expenses low. We stayed home on the weekends. Even a drive to the resivoir was a luxury. We have in the past accepted WIC help twice for a total of 6 months. I have 4 children and that's probably considered a record for my income level. No food stamps no medicaid and no other programs that you can probably name because you've heard of them and I haven't. I also want to point out both times we went on WIC was when I felt the IRS was not fair to me and my tax situation. Here I was not using any government programs that would of cost tens of thousands of dollars but not being rewarded rather punished. For those reasons I felt I could take advantage of one of many programs my income qualified for so I did until I felt I no longer needed them.

So here I am feeling awesome not working and feeling like I'm starting to be rewarded for all of our hard times. Yet again times are starting to get rough. We owe taxes this year income is going down. I really don't own a whole lot. I have 2 vehicles that are probably worth around 3000 dollars. I have an atv thats worth 1500 and a snowmobile worth 1000. Even though I feel we are wealthy we still have our fair share of financial instability. Last week I didn't pay our tithing because we didn't make money. Our operating expenses were more than income. It's still slow and I am getting ready to go find a job. Because of all this I have decided.....,

to go ahead and apply for free or reduced lunch at my local school. 

I have qualified for this program for years. In fact I have qualified for alot of programs for years. Again and again I have wrote that I have not used subsidised programs because I felt I could cut my expenses and pay for it myself through my savings. Yet time and time again I am at Costco or walmart behind a young family buying more groceries than I can afford and they pay for it with their food stamps card. Time and time again I have seen young couples take their first child home from the hospital (I stopped at a hospital once a week for work) put them in a new car and drive away. There's more than a 50 % chance they won't have to pay more than a few hundred dollars for that hospital charge. I have paid nearly  60 thousand dollars in medical expenses and still have not had my honeymoon. I have friends who have had many subsidised programs including church help who seem to be rewarded with nicer vehicles and luxury vacations. I owe taxes this year and my income is showing I'm in poverty. My cars show I'm in poverty my neighbor who is on WIC drives a nicer newer van than we do. They've recently had a nice trip to Alaska and I believe to Hawaii. I'm assuming they have the free lunch program.

If someone is taking advantage of a government program so they can afford their car payment then why shouldn't I take advantage of that same program even though I don't have a car payment.
43% of the elementary school my kids go to are on free or reduced lunch. Nearly 1 out of 2!

It's not going to save alot but what it will save I can amplify. Around 80 bucks a month would be saved. Right now I'm averaging 3% on spending and at least 10% on savings if not more. What's worth 80 dollars to someone else is worth more like a hundred dollars to me.

There are vacations we should take.
Toys we want and honeymoons I feel my wife and I deserve. And even dentist and dr visits that have been put off. If a subsidy from a government program is going to help me achieve those faster it's time to take advantage of them but not rely on them.

Little bit of faith.

With all of this flooding going on around us I wanted to talk about divine intervention and a little about my faith. From time to time I will talk about my faith. I'm not very good at it in fact most Sundays I even dread going to church. That doesn't mean I have lost faith. I have mentioned early on that my faith is deep-rooted in so many experiences. I would like to share with you some of those. Some of them have to do with this flood going on.

Lost deer.
I'm not an avid hunter. I like hunting. It's a very inexpensive way to get free range non hormonal natural meat. A family can have a freezer packed with 1 elk harvest. A deer is much smaller yet still produces a good amount of meat. On the second day of hunting season this past year I shot at a small buck. At first it didn't seemed fazed like I had missed. It hopped away and then bedded down. Thinking I might of hit it I walked down to the area it was. With all of the sagebrush and grass and me not wearing my glasses that day I couldn't see it. Only knew it was in a particular area. When I was approximately 10 feet away it jumped up and ran off. Thinking I had missed I waited for my cousin to catch up with me. When he did he informed me that he thought I did hit it but it might of been a gut shot which means it can live for hours even days. With that in mind we started searching for blood. My cousin found some and thought the deer had went to our right and down hill. I started searching with no luck. After a few minutes and being worried for the sake of the deer suffering I decided to offer a silent prayer. Both my cousin and I grew up on prayer and both had talked about our faith and the power of prayer. Soon after I felt I should change direction. I went through some very dense brush. I looked around decided to go back to where we first saw some blood. I took two steps up the hill and there was my deer. It startled me. It had been gut shot and I did have to shoot it again to make sure it was dead. Coincidence? I don't think so. I was avoiding that area until after that prayer was said. Yeah it's not the best prayer story I have but it's still a favorite of mine.

Lost credit card.
To explain this story  I need to go back a few years. My late cousin Jack (not real name) became a thief before he died. We never locked our doors until Jack robbed us on Sunday while we were at church. It wasn't until weeks later we realized who tge thief was. It wasn't alot but it was enough to lose all trust with Jack. On a Summer day decades ago we were planning on going to a family reunion Jack had stopped by the house but left soon after. Before leaving to our reunion my mom could not find her purse. I suggested we say a prayer and soon after my mom found the purse buried in the laundry hamper. It was missing money. We think Jack had done that before he left. After jack died at a young age of 20 I would sometimes feel his presence. About a year ago I had lost my credit card. I had just learned some financial clues about credit cards and needed it to complete my plans of getting out of debt (which I did 3 months later) I said a prayer but still was having no luck. I eventually thought of Jack and said out loud, "well maybe Jack should find my credit card. He needs to make restitution for steeling." I went down stairs and on top of our laundry hamper was my credit card. As if someone had gently placed it there.

Lost glove.

Prayer is sort of my last resort when it comes to lost items. In this case I prayed more of a way for me to accept this glove being lost so I could go buy a new pair. We were getting ready to take our snowmobile out for the first time. My wife was in charge of getting our kids ready while I got all of our equipment together. The last item I couldn't find was one of my wife's glove. I looked under seats around the house and tore the car apart looking for that glove. Eventually I declared my defeat and as a last resort I asked my heavenly Father if he would help. I also said that I didn't think it was worth his time but it was my last resort and I would be more than willing to buy another pair. I just didn't want to. I went back to the exact spot of my van that I had just been searched. There laid out in PLAIN SITE was that glove! I couldn't believe it. Unless it was hidden in the blanket I just moved I have no way of explaining it.

I have several other stories and I love telling them. My basic reason for sharing those with you is to also tell you our experience with divine intervention while buying our home. This recent flooding going on in northern Utah has reminded me how blessed we are even though at times we felt we had been betrayed.

When we started our search for our new home my main concern was what feels like home. Although it would of been nice to live on the hill or in a house with more square footage we both agreed to buy what feels right not what looks the best. Some good advice for alot of artificial wealthy home buyers who are buying for looks and pride not for what feels like home.

Im just saying.

Our first house we looked at (we will call the blue housr) was a gorgeous  2 story beautiful newer home. Granite counter tops a deep 3 car garage with plenty of space for all our storage needs. Trust me when I say my friends and my family would of been envious. We passed on making an offer and moved on. Our second house we looked at had a smaller garage a nice back patio upgraded kitchen small bedrooms  (that was a downside) and a big finished basement. What threw us off though was we went through a doubled door and there was another kitchen. We were confused. Apparently that's in quite a few houses. There was also an extra bathroom and 2 additional bedrooms. We decided to pass until our realtor brought up the fact that the property was a good idea for our buisness. The additional un needed kitchen dI'd have a separate entrance. We were excited.
We decided that we wanted this house and we wanted to put an offer on it. Before I tell the next part if the story I want to let you know how hot the market was at this time. There was one other house we looked at but decided to pass. 2 days later it was under contract. The blue house we looked was under contract that weekened. There was an additional house we looked at with so many bad signs. Cat pee smell. Neighbors who had an entire driveway full of cars. Under contract again just a few days later. Most houses in this area were only on the market for 2 weeks. The house we were putting our offer on had been on the market for almost 90 days which to us meant  we had a good shot at getting this house. What happened next makes me question if divine intervention pursuade our decision.
A couple of days later their realtor let our realtor know that they received 2 other offers that same night. To this day I feel like their realtor lied to us. I'm not sure but it doesn't make sense that after 90 days all of a sudden they get 3 offers? My first red flag popped up when I heard that. Something didn't feel right.They didn't meet our deadline for a response and when they did respond they asked us if we wanted to revise our offer. Can I just stop right there. This was the second red flag I received durring this whole ordeal. This is exactly why I hate the real estate market. Realtors and homeowners are constantly raising the prices through tactics such as these. Some people are always winning and some our losing. You do NOT win if you don't get the house for LOWER than what they advertised. I feel like their realtor again created a fake 3rd person to have a bidding war. Because I felt that, I was very careful with my revised offer. I don't care if the market was hot I care about what feels right to me! This house felt right.

We didn't get it.

In fact we were even hopeful that the offer would fall through. Houses that went under contract after we looked at them did fall through. Again anxiety gets in the way of logic for some and they put too much trust into the system.

Moving on.

Sorry this is a long story.

So while we were hoping and waiting to get that House we went to another house. Again this house was beautiful. Nice Upgrades huge unfinished basement. Nice little old lady who was ready to move on. We loved that house and were ready to make an offer. But again Devine intervention steps in and redirects us. We felt we should at least keep our next appointment and look at one more house. I mean what could it hurt. We found the house we wanted right. So we go to this other house and weirdest thing happened. By the time we were done with that House we didn't want either of them. Turns out we had forgotten what we really wanted. A finished basement and an open floor plan. It didn't matter if it had upgrades. We wanted something that felt right.

The 3rd time we went looking we started at the house we are now living. Now to say we went through the front and a light shined down and we looked at each other and said this is it....Yeah right!! My first impression was it's nice but not what I'm looking for. My wife was the same. She was unsure. It was pretty plain. Lower asking price than all the others we wanted but beautiful better views then all of them. We decided we'd probably like the other house so we moved on and looked at it. The last house we looked at had the best upgrades. The whole entire outside of the house was just beautiful. My first thought (a dangerous thought we all get) was people would be envious. This could be it.

Again, Devine intervention steps in. The house felt enclosed to me. They had put way too many bedrooms. I wish they would of just left some open spaces. The living room felt tiny. The last thing that made me not want this house was the basement. Good job at putting a home theater in but really?? No natural lighting and to top it all off. A sump pump and the smell of new carpet and paint.
We sat down my wife wondering my opinion was. I told them it again didn't feel
Right. It was too enclosed and I didn't trust their disclosure. What's funny to me is what my realtor said next. He was frustrated. He compared both houses and told us that this one was the better of the two. It was worth more. I told him it just didn't feel like home.

On our way home we talked about the two houses. Pros and cons and we both agreed it's not about the value as much as it is the feeling we had. The first home we saw that day wasn't perfect it had it's flaws but it felt more like home then any other house. The second house was nice and even though it held more physical value the spiritual and personal growth value was not there.

There is a canyon that we go through on our way to our old home. It's about a 10-15 minute drive. Before we were out of that canyon headed home it was like a lights witch had turned on and both of us knew which house we thought was right for us. We ate lunch to celebrate and called our realtor with our decision. He wasn't thrilled but we didn't care. We realized that although we wanted to buy a house with equity we had already been blessed with a large profit on the sale of our old home. We had some leway thay others didn't. We were out of debt, had good income, and my inspirational credit card loan and cash back program was working better than I thought it would. With alot of faith we would be all right.
I'll skim down the next few months. They were challenging. Moving getting the house ready living on 4 hours or less each night and even my parents who agreed to let us stay with them for a couple of months changed their minds 2 weeks before our move out date. It wasn't easy but I know the Lord blessed us. Our realtors partner let us use his barn for our  storage. We called several apartment complexes trying to get someone to rent to us. None would for just 2 months. Finally my wife called this new apartment complex and the head property manager answered. He was so helpful. He agreed to rent to us! My brothers and friends of ours helped us move up to the 3rd story apartment . My boss and my hr mananger were so helpful in getting all my paperwork I needed. My realtor was great and so was my loan officer. I am great ful for all of them.

After we moved in we discovered even better blessings. 2 of our neighbors have all girls. We have all girls. 2 other neighbors have more girls. First of all I'm not the only dad without a son and second my girls have someone to play with outfront. They were not even allowed to play out front at our old house. Only my oldest daughter had someone her own age to play with.

The last and final thought I have and the main point in writing this is with all of this flooding going on we have been dry. We are built on a hill and the land we are on slopes slightly to the south and to the west. I consider that now a blessing where as before I questioned why we couldn't have our 1st Choice home. Now I know. That home was in the flood zone. They may have had their basement flood which would of been disastrous for us. We could of had our buisness destroyed. Our inventory was suppose to be in the basement. The house my realtor wanted us to buy? The neighborhood was on the news due to flooded basements. That house probably too flooded. It's exciting how things just work out.

We always prayed that we would find our house not get the house we wanted and I know the Lord directed us to the house that fit us best.

Another Rant.

Ready for another rant?

Here it goes.

I am an avid watcher of the reponut channel on youtube. When Matt post a video I typically watch it within days. Most of the time he doesn't get much confrontation but In this video he does.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NTux9l7mRyg

If you skip to the 10 minute mark you will see Matt repo a motorcycle. Soon after the owner (or should I say loaner) runs out so childishly and is crying claiming he made a payment and proceeds to use profanity and unprofessionallism durring the repo. (OK so I might of exaturated crying) Seriously though. This is a prime example of what is wrong with alot of people. They are grownups acting like kids using someone ELS'S money to buy the toys they want (like when their parents bought them their toys when they were young!) When lack of funds or hardships come (uhm life does happen)They act as though they did nothing wrong! They act like children! This guy actually grumply comments "this won't happen again". That comment probably didn't help him! Now the financial company is going to demand full payment forcing him to pay all he owes!
Do you not see why you should not give any authority to financiers? Why would you give them that much authority so you can have a motorcycle a car an RV or a recreational vehicle that you do not own!?
You gain more control when you stop paying interest or OWN not finance your stuff! I have over 25k available in credit to me right now that I can use at my disposal. I have 3 loans that are NOT charging interest! I earn cash back on those loans! If my financiers and I don't agree I have made it so I get the last say. Guess what?!! They listen. I get what I want when I call.  I don't have to negotiate making a payment because I control them. If I went deep in debt where I bought a new car and they put a lean on it they would control me. They chose how much insurance I have to buy. They chose the payment. If I don't pay they collect their asset by repossession. Non of my stuff (with the exception of my house) has a lean on it. If I stop paying I LOSE NOTHING. Quick story before I end my brother who has alot of the same financial ideas and goals I do, called his creditor to cancel his card. This creditor (capital one) is known to not negotiate very well. My brother who does not pay interest because his balance is always paid called to cancel. His reason? A 59 dollar annual fee. He found a card that would give him the same benifits without the fee. After asking to cancel and explaining his reason capital one found it more favorable to stop the annual fee. This is all because my brother had leverage. They did not.

Keep your leverage.

Don't pay interest

Control them.

Don't let your creditors control you.

My prediction came true! Avoid the artificial wealth trap.

 I would like to tell you what happened today.

When I started this journey one of my main messages was and still Is "when is it our turn?" Meaning when do my wife and I get to have fun like all of those bloggers and facebookers out there. When do we get to go on a honeymoon type vacation? When will I get to go on my cruise or all inclusive resort? I don't mean to be a complaining charly but those who have had assistance through government programs church or parents have also had several vacations marked off their list due to the fact that they have more disposable income. Let me put it this way. If I (example A) make 500 a week and my friend (example B) makes 395 a week and we both have a baby. He gets his paid through medicaid and ends up paying 500 dollars while I pay 6000. He in the end makes more than I do!! How? Well besides tax factors that play in his favor when he receives Un earned income return. He has almost 106 dollar savings every week compared to me. That's not all. He will be on WIC Food stamps and housing assistance. Which makes it seem he's making more like 800 a week while I still make 500. In the end he has more disposable income to go on vacations buy a car or truck or even buy some off road vehicles. BUT, I argue the top example (me) has a better chance at being financially independent.  Example A has found ways to not waste money earn more money and while the government assistance example (B) is buying vehicles vacations and off road vehicles at full price the top example is getting them at substantial 90 % savings! Not paying interest and actually owning them. Eventually example A figures out that example B is using social services to help him out of a hardship while he continues to own not sell his posesions. Example A finds out he's donating to that social service. He stops donating to that and other social services because he loses faith that they help the poor. In his mind they reward the poor choice makers. So, he  keeps more of his money so he can go on his vacations and buy his toys. Thus the story of my life.

Anyways.

 I bring this up because my in laws who bought plane tickets to come see us who saved on a car rental because we let them use our second car who saved on gas because we filled that tank twice who got their meal payed for and entertainment payed for by us who won a lawsuit awarding them nearly 70 grand 3 years ago who have claimed bankruptcy 3 times who bought a flat screen t.v. right after bankruptcy when flat screens were 1500 dollars who bought a bigger flat screen t.v. who bought a "smart" fridge who bought a home with a pool who bought a new car for mothers day with a car payment who bought another SUV a year later because she didn't like the car she got for mothers day (2 car payments) who flew to Georgia twice flew to ohio several times flown to utah several times who went to Vegas several times California several times. Who went to the grand canyon and paid for an air flight over the grand canyon who paid for the underprivileged grandchildren to go to Disney land who gave them each 100 dollar gift cards for souvenirs while I barely bought my kids anything who paid 300 dollars a day on food that those kids wasted and then gave my wife an itallian ice for her birthday. (true story! Thats all she got for her birthday that year and it was durring that trip) not to mention bought overpriced light up ears that night! (So quick story. After my FIL buys my wife her 5 dollar birthday present on our way to world of color that night my FIL sees light up ears. He's hesitant to buy them probably because he's spending over 300 dollars a day! His wife pursuades him to buy them because he deserves them. "Just do it. Just do it" she says. This is after they get a big settlement from his former company but you soon find out that money is going to be gone!) flew to Hawaii for a 10 day 3 island vacation to have their late honeymoon who rented a convertible while there who spent lavishly on excursions snorkeling and rafting trips while there
 Who bought brand new couches even though the old ones were not that bad who got a dog then 2 years later paid hundreds of dollars for another puppy. Who out of the goodness of their hearts took their daughters x boyfriends stuff and delivered it from Arizona to Texas who got fitbit from my FIL mom decided they didn't like them returned them and forked out 100 dollars more for Google watches. ( another back storie on that! After telling us they had no money but bought plane tickets to see us while we paid for their food gas ect Christmas comes around and they tell us again they have no money!!??They give my kids 5 dollar gift cards to the dollar store for Christmas and tell us they don't have alot of money this year. Apparently they do have money if they are able to return fitbits they got from my wife's grandma who again has no money and buy Google watches which are 70 dollars more and they bought 2!! 140 dollars of money they don't have!!??)

After all that my prediction has come true!!

They have finally come to us for a loan.

In fact I wrote another journal entry on this very subject!!

Thankfully my wife and I had already discussed this. I warned her that we both are very charitable and if we loaned them money it would not help them.

Instead they asked for us to prepay our phone bill.

I'm alright with that. That isn't a cash loan they can't eat out with. It's not something they can avoid paying us back. They have to pay that or their phones get shut off.

Let me say this one last thing. I have shown how much they have bought and how much they have done. I have done this to compare our lives to theirs. We have been very frugal with our money not claiming bankruptcy and not using government programs they on the other hand have had more income went through bankruptcy got a huge financial break when they received a settlement and then spent that all within about 6 months then went further into debt to the point where they have no room on their credit cards to pay their bills. Here's the real kicker when your comparing apples to apples. I have had 4 kids 2 surgeries and 2 hospital  stays durring all of this. Add that all up that is 8 major medical bills. I have had nonstop Dr and dentist bills for 8 years. Through all that I didn't ask for help because guess what? There was no one who would help me. I tried! They on the other hand our on their 3rd medical procedure have no kids (no diapers formula clothes school lunches)to take care of) have a lower mortgage payment have a roommate that helps pay that mortgage and still have no money. That is seriously pathetic and avoidable.

Look for the warning signs and make sure you don't fall for the artificial wealth trap. If your relatives are falling for this do not let them take you for granted. Absolutely no cash loans. Do not pay their bills!! Make honest excuses like, We are saving for Hawaii or we are saving for a car!! Do not make the same mistakes they do. Don't go into debt to go on frivolous vacations! Stop getting pets you can't afford And stop getting car loans!! They ate the worst. My in laws have 2 with an estimated cost of 770 dollars a month!! That is horrible.

K I'm done venting have a great week!

Saving on vehicle maintenance. (Avoid buying penny pincher segment.)

One of my biggest pet peeves is the auto mobile market. This is from the cars you buy to the oil that helps them run. Car parts auto mechanics even windshield wiper fluid can be too pricy. Here are some automobile maintenance secrets you can try to save a lot a of money and keep your car on the road at huge discounts.
#1 Avoid buying name brand oil and synthetic oils. I am probably the only (uncertified) mechanic who will say this but listen to my reasoning. Besides the fact that oil has risen quite drastically to 6 or 7 bucks a quart. Oil hardly comes down in price when the market does. Which means those greasy  (pick your swearword) are making huge and bigger prophets while your stuck paying the same price. 2. How long do you typically keep your car? If your like me you either A. Keep it till it dies or B. From 3-5 years.My wife and I like to upgrade to something different every 3 to 5 years. If I invest in low quality oil for my oil changes and I sell my car in 5 years it will be worth the SAME if I were to use higher grade oil. Dealers and Kelly blue book don't care. If it runs and drives with no mechanical issues it will be worth the same. Lastly oil has improved. You don't need to change it every 3000 miles. Even with Supertech oil (my favorite) you can change your oil every 5000 miles. Even one more thing. Off brand oils are made by name brand companies. Look it up. Lastly buy your oil at Walmart. They are the cheapest. Again I like supertech.

2. Going along with the subject of oil. Have you ever had a car or truck that loses a quart or 2 durring that 5000 miles in between oil changes? Why not use the oil from your previous oil change to get you by till your due for your next oil change. It still has lubricating abilities and most likely you have a thousand or less miles till your next oil change. Simply make a filter out of a 2 liter soda bottle and a power aid or gator aid bottle. Cut the 2 liter in half and fill it with 4 or 5 sheets of paper towels or napkins. Place on top of the sports drink bottle. Carefully pour the used oil into the top of the soda bottle funnel being careful to not overfill. Then wait. It takes a few hours to filter but with little effort on your part. I don't do this every oil change but when I'm in a pinch or whenever I find it more valuable I will use this trick.

3. Avoid buying windshield wiper fluid. I put this on here because the ingredients in windshield wiper fluid are much cheaper than what a gallon cost. Summer blend especially is extremely cheap costing as much as a few pennies to make. Simply mix one teaspoon of dish detergent with 1 gallon of water for your summer blend. Winter home made blends do smell a little if you chose to make it with vinegar or isopropyl alchahol.  You can YouTube or look up directions online

4 Batteries. Most of us simply cannot avoid buying a battery. We will need to replace them more than once in our lives. This makes the battery manufacturers very happy. But seriously again this is another part of our vehicles that seem to go up in price without any rhyme or reason. The main materials to make batteries are lead plastic and sulfuric acid. All three are not expensive materials. So before you run to the auto parts store, try a few revival meathods. Recharging with a slow charger, flipping the battery on it's side several times and even a mixture of Epson salt and distilled water can squeeze a few more years out of a dead battery. I once bought a car with a bad battery. I tried all three meathods and was able to use that battery an additional 3 years until I sold it .
Tires. If you can learn how to change your own tires. This is by far the cheapest way to get tires. You do need to find someone to balance them but you do save alot. Tires are always being sold used with 80% and up tread for up to 50 % off. 2. Try to find a used tire place this again is a good cheap option. I once was quoted 129 dollars Per tire. That was before tax. After doing more research and running out of time I found a used tire place that sold me 2 tires for 80 bucks. That included Everything, mounting balancing and taxes. Lastly try ebay. They have inexpensive brand new tires they will ship to you free. This sometimes can save you alot of dough.

Speaking of ebay. Use Ebay and Amazon to buy your parts. They don't have the same overhead expenses that brick and mortar stores do and they offer free shipping. I typically save 50% or more over other auto parts stores.

Lastly stop buying the best when it comes to replacement parts. All you are doing is buying parts for the next owner of your car. I have hardly had to replace a part more than once durring the entire time I've owned any of my cars. Buy the most reasonable part and let the next owner take care of it. 

Hope this helps you save a few bucks.

3 year anniversary post.

So for my anniversary I decided to kind go  into why I have this blog what's it's point and where do we go from now on. I think I've made it very clear that I feel I have been treated unfairly when comparing my life's journey to some others. I felt I was making right choices such as self reliance working hard paying my bills paying my taxes and providing for my family. In the end we sacrificed and paid more than our neighbors. We have paid close to 60 grand in medical bills while others went to college and paid close to nothing. We HAD to pay for all our children. More than 50% of Arizona residents the year I had my first child did NOT. Those choices were never presented to me. If someone came up to me and said I could get a part time job delivering pizzas go to college and the state would take care of all of my wife's and baby's medical bills, I would of probably chose that. You get more benifits working half or less than half the time yet I chose the latter and paid the price.

My first year of being married I had 3 jobs. When my wife got pregnant i didn't seek government help. I went to work. My wife and I must of really loved each other because we barely saw eachother. When we did our taxes on turbo tax that year the government took my entire wages from my 3rd job. We know this because turbo tax allows you to see your return while you are filing. When we had completed our last 1099 our return dropped to us owing money and it was because I had worked that 3rd job. I WOULD OF MADE THE SAME WITH OR WITHOUT IT.

Here we are 3 years later from starting this blog. What has happened is a miracle. I'm out of debt have money in the account currently not working. I'm a stay at home dad helping my wife. She works at home. I guess you could say that my trials were meant to be and directed me on my path. I am still unsure. I believe in God. I have never doubted that I was meant to have trials yet I still wonder if he was always keeping an eye on me.

So I've decided to take this blog in a different direction. Instead of focusing on my "I can't afford it awards" I'm going to focus more on my penny pincher segments. What to avoid buying. I have a lot of ideas I would like to write about on that subject so I am going to focus more time on that. That doesn't mean  my "I can't afford it awards" are going away. I will just be focusing more time to my penny pincher segment.

Reviewing my ransom

I wrote a post a while ago of 10 things that would have to happen before I erase this blog. I reviewed those and found some of them are done! I have made progress but I still have a ways to go. A few have changed and I've added one to the list. These are the things I'm working on achieving and when they are complete I will erase my blog . They are the blog ransome.

They are, starting with the newest one.

1. Go to a MOTAB Christmas Concert.
I still believe the ticket process is corrupt. I have tried for years to go with no sucess. Politicians church leaders news anchors and church employees go every year and others have to fight for them. One more ransom to the list.

2. Go on a honeymoon! Still have not gone on an official honeymoon meaning one week to a vacation spot such as Hawaii or cancun or on a cruise! We were supposed to go in February but those plans have changed. I want to have my honeymoon.

3. A house of envy. This has officially happened. This year we moved into one of two nicest houses on our block. I seriously thought that would never happen and it did.

4. Four vacations in one year.
OK I want this every year but let's be honest. Unless I'm independently wealthy this probably won't happen so I will accept 4 vacations in 1 year. 4 1 week vacations. So within a year span I have had 2. If I get 2 more this one will be accomplished.

5. Debt free. I am in debt. I also have enough funds to pay off all my debts. I don't want to. I currently pay no interest and make around 100 dollars a month on my debts. They are paying themselves off.

6. No medical bills. I thought I was good o this one. I just realized i am not. Guess I'll be calling a Dr tomorrow.
I hate Dr bills. They should not be a constant concern.

7. A getaway place. Preferably a cabin. Have you ever been depressed or just wanted to get away even for a night. I envy those who have this. There's rejuvenation and real sychological help from being in a secluded cabin by a fire letting your stress go.

8. An affordable house payment. I would say no house payment but I know that is probably not going to happen for at least another 10 years. What is an affordable house payment? My last house was affordable. I know that. If I were to pull a number I would say under a thousand would satisfy me to say this has been achieved.

9. A trip to Alaska and Hawaii  (subject to change)
Just for the heck of it.

10. A cruise. I have always wanted to go on a cruise. Why haven't I? Because unlike my former coworker who has been on 3. I had bills he didn't. I had Dr bills for babies. He didn't. He had the state pay for his. He had another one taken care of through bankruptcy and yet he gets to go on cruises? Yep that's how the economy works. Screws the ones who are self sufficient and rewards those who are not.

To end my anniversary speach that has no organizations or rythem. (Sorry my mind has not been as sharp as it used to be) Let me say this. Through these last 10 years of grown up responsibility I have realized there are 4 things society charges us to much for. If you can control these 4 things you can have so much more authority to make decisions. Society is craving these powers. Fight for them back!
1. CAR PAYMENTS. you lose so much freedom when you become a slave to the lender. If you can't pay for a car outright don't! In emergency situations where you need a car do not go more than 110 a month. That's around a 5000 dollar car. Stop giving lenders the power to tell you what you need to do such as how much insurance you need or what your required to pay. Americans give too much power to the auto industry.
2. Dr bills. The medical industry makes too much damn money. Lasik eye surgery has continually come down while Dr bills continue to climb. Why? A BECAUSE THEY CAN. Nobody fights for lower prices. You can!! Avoid Dr's if you can but if you need to go negotiate negotiate negotiate. I've heard so many lies from their trained phone operators.  Continue trying to get a discount and they will do it!
3.Insuranse. this is both for auto and medical. Continue fighting for lower prices. When I was first married I paid 1600 a year for 2 cars. I now pay around 600 for 2 cars. Tomorrow I am going to reduce that to under 500. Why? Because I can. Insurance companies will continue to try raise your rates. They are trained to make up excuses. Continue to fight back and shop for lower rates.
4. Learn how to use credit cards. If you are paying interest you are using them wrong! Stop having the mentality that you will pay them later. You won't! I have carried balances on credit cards for 10 years. I've had an awakening last year and currently have not paid interest to a credit card company in 10 months. In that time I have earned over 1000 dollars in cash back incentives. I'm not debt free. I just realized a secret that not a lot of people know about.

Be healthy  Stay away from student loan debt and stop spending more than you make.

Here's to 2017. May it be my and your best year yet.