I would like to tell you what happened today.
When I started this journey one of my main messages was and still Is "when is it our turn?" Meaning when do my wife and I get to have fun like all of those bloggers and facebookers out there. When do we get to go on a honeymoon type vacation? When will I get to go on my cruise or all inclusive resort? I don't mean to be a complaining charly but those who have had assistance through government programs church or parents have also had several vacations marked off their list due to the fact that they have more disposable income. Let me put it this way. If I (example A) make 500 a week and my friend (example B) makes 395 a week and we both have a baby. He gets his paid through medicaid and ends up paying 500 dollars while I pay 6000. He in the end makes more than I do!! How? Well besides tax factors that play in his favor when he receives Un earned income return. He has almost 106 dollar savings every week compared to me. That's not all. He will be on WIC Food stamps and housing assistance. Which makes it seem he's making more like 800 a week while I still make 500. In the end he has more disposable income to go on vacations buy a car or truck or even buy some off road vehicles. BUT, I argue the top example (me) has a better chance at being financially independent. Example A has found ways to not waste money earn more money and while the government assistance example (B) is buying vehicles vacations and off road vehicles at full price the top example is getting them at substantial 90 % savings! Not paying interest and actually owning them. Eventually example A figures out that example B is using social services to help him out of a hardship while he continues to own not sell his posesions. Example A finds out he's donating to that social service. He stops donating to that and other social services because he loses faith that they help the poor. In his mind they reward the poor choice makers. So, he keeps more of his money so he can go on his vacations and buy his toys. Thus the story of my life.
Anyways.
I bring this up because my in laws who bought plane tickets to come see us who saved on a car rental because we let them use our second car who saved on gas because we filled that tank twice who got their meal payed for and entertainment payed for by us who won a lawsuit awarding them nearly 70 grand 3 years ago who have claimed bankruptcy 3 times who bought a flat screen t.v. right after bankruptcy when flat screens were 1500 dollars who bought a bigger flat screen t.v. who bought a "smart" fridge who bought a home with a pool who bought a new car for mothers day with a car payment who bought another SUV a year later because she didn't like the car she got for mothers day (2 car payments) who flew to Georgia twice flew to ohio several times flown to utah several times who went to Vegas several times California several times. Who went to the grand canyon and paid for an air flight over the grand canyon who paid for the underprivileged grandchildren to go to Disney land who gave them each 100 dollar gift cards for souvenirs while I barely bought my kids anything who paid 300 dollars a day on food that those kids wasted and then gave my wife an itallian ice for her birthday. (true story! Thats all she got for her birthday that year and it was durring that trip) not to mention bought overpriced light up ears that night! (So quick story. After my FIL buys my wife her 5 dollar birthday present on our way to world of color that night my FIL sees light up ears. He's hesitant to buy them probably because he's spending over 300 dollars a day! His wife pursuades him to buy them because he deserves them. "Just do it. Just do it" she says. This is after they get a big settlement from his former company but you soon find out that money is going to be gone!) flew to Hawaii for a 10 day 3 island vacation to have their late honeymoon who rented a convertible while there who spent lavishly on excursions snorkeling and rafting trips while there
Who bought brand new couches even though the old ones were not that bad who got a dog then 2 years later paid hundreds of dollars for another puppy. Who out of the goodness of their hearts took their daughters x boyfriends stuff and delivered it from Arizona to Texas who got fitbit from my FIL mom decided they didn't like them returned them and forked out 100 dollars more for Google watches. ( another back storie on that! After telling us they had no money but bought plane tickets to see us while we paid for their food gas ect Christmas comes around and they tell us again they have no money!!??They give my kids 5 dollar gift cards to the dollar store for Christmas and tell us they don't have alot of money this year. Apparently they do have money if they are able to return fitbits they got from my wife's grandma who again has no money and buy Google watches which are 70 dollars more and they bought 2!! 140 dollars of money they don't have!!??)
After all that my prediction has come true!!
They have finally come to us for a loan.
In fact I wrote another journal entry on this very subject!!
Thankfully my wife and I had already discussed this. I warned her that we both are very charitable and if we loaned them money it would not help them.
Instead they asked for us to prepay our phone bill.
I'm alright with that. That isn't a cash loan they can't eat out with. It's not something they can avoid paying us back. They have to pay that or their phones get shut off.
Let me say this one last thing. I have shown how much they have bought and how much they have done. I have done this to compare our lives to theirs. We have been very frugal with our money not claiming bankruptcy and not using government programs they on the other hand have had more income went through bankruptcy got a huge financial break when they received a settlement and then spent that all within about 6 months then went further into debt to the point where they have no room on their credit cards to pay their bills. Here's the real kicker when your comparing apples to apples. I have had 4 kids 2 surgeries and 2 hospital stays durring all of this. Add that all up that is 8 major medical bills. I have had nonstop Dr and dentist bills for 8 years. Through all that I didn't ask for help because guess what? There was no one who would help me. I tried! They on the other hand our on their 3rd medical procedure have no kids (no diapers formula clothes school lunches)to take care of) have a lower mortgage payment have a roommate that helps pay that mortgage and still have no money. That is seriously pathetic and avoidable.
Look for the warning signs and make sure you don't fall for the artificial wealth trap. If your relatives are falling for this do not let them take you for granted. Absolutely no cash loans. Do not pay their bills!! Make honest excuses like, We are saving for Hawaii or we are saving for a car!! Do not make the same mistakes they do. Don't go into debt to go on frivolous vacations! Stop getting pets you can't afford And stop getting car loans!! They ate the worst. My in laws have 2 with an estimated cost of 770 dollars a month!! That is horrible.
K I'm done venting have a great week!
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