Thursday, December 7, 2017

No presents from in laws for my sweet 2 year old rant

So my daughter's second birthday just passed. The night before her birthday my parents asked if they could stop by and give her a gift. My mom is into sewing and crafting and she gifted my 2 year old a pair of home made dolls. My mom has been very good at making sure we are all thought of on our birthdays. This includes 9 children 9 children in laws and around 30 grandchildren. I have said this over and over again my parents have been fiscally responsible their entire life. They don't have much but they do own their home. They garden and have a massive food storage. No debt and quite a bit in savings. She gives small gufts to all of us ON TIME and I have no doubt being financially secure has helped with being able to do that.
Now my in laws gave my sweet 2 year old.

NOTHING!!
Yes that's right nothing. Here we are 1 week later and not a single card has been put in the mail. But instead of focusing my rant on my deadbeat egocentric in laws I want to turn my attention to my wife's grandma.
Sorry grandma nothing personal but I have to rant and ask some questions.

She too didn't give my child anything and I didn't expect her to. But I've had some questions lately that make me wonder why she can't. Let me explain my wife's Grandma just turned 80 and is just recently a cancer survivor. She is very sweet and somewhat forgetful I get that but during all of these cancer treatments her van was repossessed. The same van I repaired last Christmas for her christmas present. This van is barely worth 500 dollars and it had a loan on it? Title loan maybe?

So my wife's grandma is 80. She's been in retirement for 10+ years now. She had a rough beginning. Her husband, an officer, was killed in the line of duty when their son (my wife's dad) was just 6 years old. So their is some heartfelt understanding to her beginning circumstances. With her being married to an officer killed in the line of duty she received and still receives a check and benifit's from the state of California. Yet here we are 50 something years later and things have gotten bad that she has decided to sell her burial plot next to her former husband. This has begged the question to me. Where is the money? I mean did she not have any financial goals in life such as owning a home? She had 1 kid a pay check she didn't have to work for and still could not find it within herself to work hard and save for her retirement? Last year she provided a great Christmas for her son and his wife. She also provided good christmas presents for her great grandchildren. Some had better presents than others. But how did she do it when she has very limited income and no savings? She applied for a koles store credit card and maxed it out. Is koles getting there money back? Probably not. When I first met my wife she told me her Grandma was loaded. At one point she was making a good income but eventually we find out it was all show. Cars were being financed and eventually repoed and money was not being controlled. Eventually here we are. Old and broke.
I bring this up for 2 reasons. One to let myself and others know that the decision you make today do impact your quality of life later INCLUDING the simple joys of giving gifts. And 2 to show yet again that my hand in life somewhat sucks. There is barely any suplimental support when it comes to help with me and my family.  While other families with kids are being spoiled with gifts vacations and even a check here and there. My family has been on our own from our first child to our last. No financial and not alot of physical help either.  It's not all bad we have learned a lot yet have a little spoilage every once in a while wouldn't be bad either.

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