So I I'm going to start a series of post that may take some time or at least I hope it takes some time to finish. Reason being I want to fully disect my thoughts feelings and ideas A while back after having some crappy depressing day's in January where depression meets snowy gloomy days on top of snowy gloomy days with no sunshine in sight, I asked myself a question. Why am I not happy? Followed by how can I be happy?
We are all human beings who have needs. Food water shelter warm clothing love friendship. Among other things we also need happiness. Now for me happiness is a recipe that I have not perfected. I don't think I will ever perfect it but when I'm experiencing more and more misery I have to ask myself, what am I missing? Why Am I not happy.
Like with the needs I mentioned above a single thing or idea is not going to make anyone completely happy. A person who so badly wants a house, works hard to get a down payment and a loan, and then one day buys a house may find happiness and then missery. What if he loses income and finds it hard to pay for his house? Then he may be enslaved to work multiple jobs just to keep his mortgage fed. Is that really happiness? Another example may be a person who has a dream car. Same thing happens. Loss of income makes it harder to pay the car payment. Soon his car payment is enslaving him to work harder. He or she does but has to spend more time doing things they don't enjoy. Is it really worth it? Does that one item bring you that much happiness and joy it's worth spending all of that extra time working?
I think too often people think that envy is the key to happiness. If I can just get my friends to covet my life. Then I can be happy. If I can just be one step ahead of them in new technology then I will be happy. For some that's easy to do. There are people in this world born with a silver spoon and have wealth and opportunity before they are able to recognize life. Heck some are born with a copper spoon. Not super rich but still have more opportunities than most middle class Americans. And then there is me. I guess you could say I was born with a plastic spork. Just enough practicality to give me hope, I guess.
Going back to buying a house that causes misery instead of happiness let me share this story of a former coworker.
I started working for a clothing rental company in June of 2006. This was before 4 dollar gas and the market crash of 2007-08. I had a fellow co-worker who was in management and was paid somewhat well. At around this time he decided to buy a house. I'm not sure his financial terms on the mortgage but I do know his interest rate must not of been fixed. For a year his finances seemed fine. Then the mortgage industry started to collapse. He didn't lose income but suddenly his mortgage was alot more than what he had planned. Soon he was very limited on all of his purchases. He would pack a lunch every day. Not to save money, not because it was cheaper but because he was forced to. I'm pretty sure he wasn't exactly happy.
I'm going to end on this note. I myself have been caught up in envy. I myself wished I had people envious of my life. I'm continually losing the battle. I simply don't have the financial success that others have. I don't have family that I can rely on. I'm also finding others have taken the need of envy of others to unhealthy levels. I often mention my in-laws in my post. It's my opinion that some of their actions are so others will envy their life. When you dig deeper you soon find alot of debt. There is no wealth behind the new cars they buy or the trips they take.
I think the lesson here is to stop wasting focus on others success and work hard on your own success. Stop trying to get others to envy your life. Focus on your happiness. It may require some money but it does not require others envy.
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