Let's go back to Christmas 2012 shall we. If I were to pick a Christmas that was the worst one of my life that would be it. First at all I'm not a great shopper. Especially when it comes to woman's apparel. Christmas shopping for me used to be ask my wife to make a list, set a budget ( back then it was around 100 dollars per person) she would then guide me where exactly that item on the list was in store then I would buy it. Funny how just the other day we were talking about past memories. I remember buying her a hair straightener for like 10 bucks because it was the only one in my budget. It probably only lasted 6 months but at the time it was the only thing we could afford.
On Christmas Eve 2012 my company decided instead of letting us have it off they would have meetings half the day then feed us lunch. I was a procrastinator as far as finishing my wife's Christmas gifts so I was planning on going to good ol Walmart and try to come up with a few last minute ideas for her. When we were finished snow had covered the ground in 4 inches of powder. Not only did I have to go to the store I had to drive 30 miles home in snowy conditions. When I got to the packed Walmart the only thing I could come up with was a cutting mat for her sewing activities and a gift card. When I was almost home my stomach started churning and I progressed slowly during the rest of of the night feeling worst till I felt I couldn't stay up any longer. I let my wife know how I was feeling and went to bed leaving her to finish wrapping and setting up Christmas for our 3 young girls.
I was only in bed for 5 minutes when my wife told me that sometimes I have to be a parent and push through. I don't feel she knew how sick I was. I hadn't thrown up yet and I had a headache where my pain was centered around my right Temple. I pushed through and soon after we were done my symptoms showed up and I was puking and feverish all night. The next morning my wife showed more sympathy with my situation. And we tried to make Christmas as good as we could. My wife got 5 gifts from me 4 of which she knew beforehand. I stayed in bed most of the day, we did no traveling, basically it sucked.
I had a conversation with my wife later on that year about that experience. What she told me made me reflect on my personal progress as a good husband. I realized I needed a lot of work. She let me know that she hasn't had a good Christmas for a while. Every Christmas was the same. She basically shopped for everyone including herself. Christmas had lost it's magic.
You know that Christmas song “Where are you Christmas” for a while I felt a personal connection to the words of that song. I too for quite a while felt Christmas was not the same. I even questioned if we could just skip Christmas gifts for ourselves so we could catch up on our finances. I dreaded having to shop. Every dollar I spent I worked hard for and it was painful to try to be a provider while providing very little, then to try to scrape up any leftover funds or credit we had to provide a reasonable Christmas.
Anyway, I think I'm moving off my main point so let me try to steer my writing towards my.
So Christmas 2013 was my favorite Christmas along with 2017. Christmas 2016 was the most expensive with the most toys and gifts. Yet it wasn't mine or my wife's favorite. I finally found through trial and error how to have a good Christmas.
First. I learned to think about Christmas early. I know we haven't finished halloween yet but as of today there are 10 Fridays till Christmas. When we are in the Christmas season you have less than 4 weeks when the turkey goes cold. I'm not saying put up your tree but at least start thinking and planning now. You may not have enough money or lack of items you feel you need. Planning now reduces stress and for me leaves room to feel and enjoy the Christmas season when it finally comes.
Second. Look for free items that can be given as gifts. Harbor freight tools is a great way to get free stuff with a purchase. If I was a 12 year old boy with an interest in tools, a voltmeter, multipurpose screwdriver, a set of screwdrivers, a flashlight, and a grabber would have been exciting to receive all that. All of which is free with a purchase
3rd. Set your expectations early. For us my wife and I sat down with our family and asked everyone what was their favorite Christmas, we realized gifts were not the main reason for a great Christmas experience. Last year we wanted a more simpler less expensive more meaningful Christmas, as a family we set our expectations and goals. We wanted more activities such as visiting Temple square or going to local events and we actually decided we wanted LESS PRESENTS. Not including St Nicks presents, All of us get 4 gifts. Something you WEAR, something to READ, something you WANT, and something you NEED.
now as far as me and my wife would obviously give each other a few more gifts if we find something we know we want to give but my girls don't expect the world and we noticed their gratitude and Christmas spirit has grown.
4th here's a husband to wife gift secret. Find the local pop up boutiques and find something unique. It's a girls territory but what I have found they are more than willing to help. Get pictures of your wife's shoes jewelry and her clothes and let them help you find something. My wife was excited when I gave her homemade soap and a necklace from a boutique. It helps them and you also get a great deal.
5th write a list. Stop guessing what the other spouse wants. With our 4-5 gift limit, our family takes.their time on what the need and want. Last year I had very little I needed it wanted maybe that's why it was so great.
6th. Declutter, sell, give. Decluttering makes room for your new gifts plus you breath easier when you have less. Selling old items you don't use helps with the decluttering and increased your budget for Christmas. Give to those in need. Again I always caution to do your research before giving. There are a lot of crappy non profits out there where people make a decent living off of your generosity. I personally look for a more personal approach. Now we have Facebook groups that do all the work non profits do for free.
7th. Watch the minimalist documentary for perspective. Stuff doesn't bring you happiness.
I think i'll end there. Again keep it simple, start now, have fun and research your options.
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