So I have another rant I would like to share. I have had a calling in the primary for the last 2-3 years. Prior to that I was an instructor in the elders quarom for like 6 months prior to that I was a pianist in the primary for 2 years. In my ward prior to that I was also in the primary. In our current ward I have been keeping my Tallent hidden although a few people including our previous bishop does know I play. Trust me I would enjoy playing again but there is alot of Tallent in our ward and I have sat back for now. Lately we have had alot of new ward members which has put a strain on the primary workers. So to try to relieve some of this strain the primary president is trying to get more primary workers. My wife and I look at our calling as a sacred responsibility. We could use help but we feel we are strong enough to withstand our small trial while blessings surely have been pouring in.
I'm slowly getting to my point but first a little background.
My wife was a secretary in the primary presidency so she knows a little about how the primary president gets ward members called. There are a few rules. Typically with rare exceptions such as presidency changes primary is not allowed to call people who have a calling in a different organization. If a person has a calling as a counselor in the young woman primary cannot ask them to come and have a calling in the primary, however, the young woman presidency can ask for a teacher to a calling of their choice. This can be stressful for a primary president because she can lose a good teacher and be limited on who she can call as a teacher and to make it harder she needs 2 teachers per classroom.
This brings me to my point. Lately in our ward we've been over hearing and .seeing that the primary president has been inspired to call on individuals to serve callings within the primary. These individuals (who I don't know) have been rejecting these callings and I have to ask
Why??
Now I can come up with a couple of reasons but with some of these reasons comes a form of dishonesty and quite frankly laziness.
My wife once sent me an article on what the commandments mean and what we as members write our own meanings of the commandments.
In it the author is saying that although a commandment means one thing we try and one up the lord and with our own versions of the commandments. We try to live the gospel and be perfect in other people's standard when it is not the lords standard. At one point the Author talk talks about his Wife and how she felt she should not turn down a calling but in the end it started to take a toll on her to the point it started to cause marital and depression problems.
She had a newborn, a calling as a primary president among other callings that were taking a toll on her marriage and overall happiness. In the end she asked to be released and is sharing her thoughts on her experience.
This brings me to reason #1 why I think people are rejecting primary callings.
Members are reading this article and misinterpreting what the authors message is as in I don't feel like being a primary teacher so because of this article I can reject that calling. May I point out a few things in the article. First of all she points out my main compliant. Primary presidents are not getting enough help. It's obvious that one of the reasons she struggled with her callings was because she probably continued to have people rejecting callings she was sending out that would have brought relief to her calling. So this article could be having an adverse effect in which a person is rejecting a calling they can mentally and physically handle but due to laziness and maybe even dishonesty they convince themselves they cannot do it which creates a circle of stress back onto another primary president when they ultimately could of had a different attitude and brought relief. I'm not saying don't ever reject a calling. There was at least one calling that I should have rejected. I was working alot and my bishop wanted me to be a scout leader. I attempted it but found out I just couldn't make the meetings. It was also taking a toll on our marriage as I was hardly seeing my wife. I was released 2 months later.
My#2 reason I think people are rejecting primary callings.
They are holding out for a better calling. One they have not had or a calling they have had but really enjoyed. I remember watching an anti church video once of a member saying she left the church because she was released from her calling as a nursery leader. At least that's what I got out of it. I wouldn't doubt there are members who have had callings in certain organization (such as young womans) and have enjoyed them so much they are refusing other callings so they can return to a calling they enjoyed. The problem with this approach and others as well is that you could potentially robbing someone else of a calling they have not had or a calling they would have had. If sister A was going to be offered a calling in the young womans a calling she has never had and sister B was planned on being called to primary a calling she has never had, if Sister B were to be called in first and reject the calling to primary the Bishop could end up offering it to Sister A who has had a calling in primary a calling she is willing to do but had always wanted the other calling in young womans . Unknown to her sister B got the calling in young womans. I honestly have no proof that has ever happened but I do know people who continue to get callings in the same organizations over and over.
My wife's sister was called into YW in 2014. In 2017 she was released. Now she's still in YW at a stake level. I believe she was also in YW in a prior ward.
My last reason doesn't necessarily have to do with rejecting a calling but basically who you know and who knows you. In my last ward I ranted that there was some financial segregation going on and that 75%of the more higher or coveted callings were members who lived in this brand new gated community.
I wrote about it here
http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2016/04/went-to-church-today.html?m=1
And here.
http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2016/04/financial-segregation-within-church.html?m=1
Meaning the bishopric were all living there. The YW presidency 3 of the 4 presidency and I believe 2 of the 3 advisors live there
The presidents of these organizations were being called and simply knocking on their neighbors or friends doors and asking them if they would accept a calling in their organization.
In closing my rant this is what I think can be done to help aleviate my 1st complaint, primary presidents are not getting enough help and what to do pertaining to my second complaint. Members continually getting called to the same organization.
1st I'm suggesting that there are questions that are not invasive and can be asked. What are the persons previous callings and what organizations have they not been called to?
"Sister A, we have a calling in mind we would like you to accept but would like to ask you, what callings have you had?" Sister A responds." Well I have been in relief society as a teacher and a counselor, I have also worked in the primary as a secretary and a teacher, and have been on activity days and activity committee". The Bishop then asks,"is there any calling you have rejected?" Sister A responds, "no, I think I may have asked to not be called to the activity committee." The Bishop looks over his notes and asks, " I see you have not been in the Young Womans organization. Would this be a calling you would like to have? Sister A responds that she has always wanted a calling in Young womans ever since she left it. She has always accepted callings in other organizations because she felt she was needed their.
"Sister B We have a calling in mind we would like you to accept but would like to ask you what callings have you had in the past? Sister B responds, "Well I have been on the activity committee Young Womans counselor and advisor" The Bishop takes note then ask, "have you ever rejected a calling for any reason?" "Yes", she says, "I have been asked to be a primary teacher and a counselor in the primary, I felt due to my circumstances at the time that I couldn't handle them." "Would you be willing to be a primary teacher?" The Bishop asks. Hesitantly she says I guess The Bishop then explains to her "the primary in our ward has been desperate for help. We're also finding out that out of all the organization that the woman get called to, primary has been the most rejected while young womans has been the most accepted calling."Unfortunately as a consequence members are continually getting callings in the same organization when they should enjoy the blessings that other organizations can provide. We would like to extend a calling of a teacher to you and your husband.
It might be that simple.
My last and final thought on this is that the church has been getting way too many young married couples into young men's and young womans when they should at least try to get the younger married young kid couples to be in primary first. I only say this because so many wards have missed an opportunity for my wife and I to serve at a younger age. Here we are 10 years older than some of the members who are being called to callings we have wanted during the past 10 years.
Anyway, that finishes my rant.
.The primary needs more help
.Members need to stop rejecting callings to hold out for callings they want
. The church could find out what members are not getting callings to that they have wanted.
I've giving it till 2019. I myself may go inactive if my wife doesn't receive a calling she has not had. I've been in primary for the last 8-9 years off and on. I need something different.
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