Octobers winner

Some times not being able to aford something can be because of time.

You could be a multi millionaire and still not have enough time. Work, family life, maybe a life changing event such as having a baby can take up alot of your time. 

So for this month's "I can't afford it award" I have chosen this add I found on Facebook.

I have some strong feelings when it comes to pet ownership and since i too am out of time (being its a half hour from midnight.) I'll leave it at that.

Dont get a dog if you dont have time for it!

My in laws financial traps.

I knew it would eventually happen and it did.

This weekend.

So for years now I have warned of the dangers of overexerting your finances. Adding a car loan to your budget. Spending too much on vacations. Putting vacations on credit cards. Adding or upgrading your Internet and cable. Spending more than you are earning. Even leaving lights on or not trying to conserve resources that you pay for can catch up to you.
I have several times in the past brought up my in laws as examples of what not to do to your financial situation. Every time we went to visit they seemed superior to all of us "peasants" who could not afford what they could BARELY afford. 60 " flat screen t.v.s, Electric couches with cup holders, refrigerator with a computer built in, new Sinks installed, 2 newer cars (one bought on mothers day) with car loans and even a motion sensor trash can. Not to mention vacations to Vegas California Hawaii Georgia AND treating the "underprivileged" grandkids to an all expense paid vacation to Disneyland complete with 100 dollar gift cards to all 3. While my kids got by with sac lunches and minumul souvenirs. Not to mention we over drafted our bank account while on that trip.

Anyways

For years I would tell myself there would be a day where we would have more financial security than they do. Give it time and keep going. Some day they will be wanting our help. We on the other hand have not even asked for a loan but I have to give them credit. For the first 3 years of our marriage they did a good job at being, uhm whats the word, GRAND PARENTS. Buying our meals and taking us places but unfortunately they have lost their grandparent charm. I can arguably trace that to when they bought the first brand new car and when her daughter moved in.
So to get to my point, here we are. My family has increased in wealth through alot of sacrifice and good financial decisions and they decided to come visit.
We let them use our car we filled it up for them paid for a meal gave them a place to stay and even paid for entertainment! When they left I had to put more gas in the car to take them to the airport. In all I would say we spent around 150 dollars while they saved 250.

So what's my point...

Here it is. Close relatives who spend lavishly and buy things they cannot afford are going to expect you to help them when your times are good and theirs are not. They may even use the "we helped you" card (which they haven't) or the "we paid for you" that one time.

Don't let it work!!

Here are some tips to prevent yourself from being ripped off from your money hungry relatives who love to show off any artificial wealth they can.

1. Treating relatives to a meal is fine. It's also a nice gesture but don't expect them to do the same. Try at least doing it at the end of the vacation that way they don't expect you to pay again.

2. Going along with eating out, go Dutch or chose less expensive fast food places.

3. If your relatives mention they are on a budget take that as a red flag. They may be expecting you to pay for more (like mine did)

5. Unless you have smart financially secure family members coming to visit DO NOT offer your car as an alternative to a rental car. With a rental car they are responsible for gas with yours they are not and if you have relatives like I do they don't realize they should fill the tank to when they began their journey. My in laws left it empty before taking them to the airport. Which meant I filled it 1 and a half times. If they ask tell them your car needs repairs or its in the shop.

6. Do not disclose your wealth. If anything  tell them your struggling also. That way they expect less.

Lastly make note of all the times you "paid" for something just on case they try to make that argument. This is not only to stand up for yourself it's also to remind yourself.

Octobers I can't afford it award teaser.

So I'm starting to go stealth on this blog. May take longer but should be worth it. I have just had one too many times where my wife asks to see my phone and asks what's this picture? Usually its a picture of an add I'm using for the blog and she tells me i have a hard heart and i need to soften it. I'm sorry but I don't see it that way. It's not about having a hard heart it's about learning from other peoples mistakes so you don't keep making them. Stay away from them. History is full of mistakes people have made. We learn from them so we don't make those mistakes again. Even the bible shows mistakes made and we again learn from them. If no one were to write down our mistakes disasters would happen daily. You imagine what it would be like if the air flight industry never wrote down their mistakes? I wouldn't fly. Would you?
So I'm constantly finding these people to over and over let you (that one lucky person who stumbles on my blog) know why you should avoid them.
Enough introduction lets get started.

So 2 years ago while i was injured and on short term disability for 10 weeks i wrote a blog piece called, "Truck owners are selfish"
http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2014/09/new-truck-buyers-are-selfish.html?m=1

In it I made the argument that trucks are very expensive to operate and unless you had yours completley paid off you were selfish. Your family deserves better. Your wife deserves better. So I'm never shocked when I spot adds with OVERPRICED, yes overpriced, trucks people are trying to get out from under their expensive payments. What does shock me is when young guys who have no financial education buy a truck get married HAVE A KID and even make it through a semester of college before realizing they cannot afford their payment anymore. Now I did capitilize all the letters above and heres why. A hospital bill cost alot!! I know! I have had 4 kids. They are not cheap. If a person is paying a 500 dollar truck payment and 200 dollar insuranse payment, how in the hell is he paying hospital and dr payments!? The answer? In most cases he's not! The government is because guess what. The government does not include vehicles as assets!

Anyways.

The first contestant of October's "I Can't Afford It Award" is this guy

This belongs to a young family. Dad has a wife and a baby. Recently married 2 years ago and already is living the American dream which is artificial wealth through DEBT. Again this is the typical love story today. Guy falls in love with a truck. Buys it. Guy falls in love with girl. They get married and have a kid. Guy loses his job and sells his first love and LOSES alot of money. Eventually they need help. Bishop steps in and pays the mortgage and they get free food! All the while other young married couples are making correct financial decisions and are being stretched to their limits with hostpital bills and baby cost and get NO breaks.

YAY! It's a perfect world!

NOT!!

The next contestant for this month is yet another selfish truck owner.

He can no longer afford the payment but somehow can come up with 5 grand to pay down the balance? This is ridiculous! 

HE HAS TO PAY 5 GRAND TO SELL THIS!

Are you not seeing the problem?

Not all truck purchases are selfish. They're are plenty of inexpensive options that are affordable, reliable, and can get your jobs done.

Avoid car loans. They are traps and they bind you with THEIR rules.

Stay away from them.

Anything and everything

So I've been wanting to just write anything and everything down on this one post. I have been thinking about this for a while. Different topics have floated through my head yet I'm not finding the time nor sometimes the desire to write. So... I'm going to start now and end whenever with whatever topics come to mind.
First of all I have finally done it I quit my job! Yep a year ago I couldn't stop talking about getting out of debt and paying my car off and here I am now debt free car loan free working at home and not necessarily loving it. Hmm. Why? Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change my circumstances at all there are certain stages of life I feel we all should experience and unfortunately I am in one of those stages in life, raising a baby and another not working. Unfortunately  they are bumping into each other. You would think that having independence from financial hardships and not working as much would bring freedom and happiness. Some days it does others not so much. My baby has been clingy and although I may not work my wife does which leaves the babysitting to me. Sometimes the only freedom I have is when the baby is sleeping. This is a big problem when your wish is fulfilled yet you can't acomplish anything because you fear the baby is going to eat something it shouldn't or fall down the stairs and get hurt. Non stop things are spilled messes are made and diapers are constantly being changed
 I'm just hoping that we A. get a babysittero soon or B. My being away from work last long enough where the baby situation gets better to where I can get some of my projects done.

Another subject I've wanted to spend an entire post on is the bragging rights of not having to have a car loan anymore. I wanted to share my experience after my last and final payment was made. First of all let me share what my life was like two  years before my last payment was made. I was down on my luck my cars transmission was shot I was relying on a coworker to get to work every morning and my wife (and I) just had it with everything bad going on in out lives. We first called our credit unio and asked for a car loan  (p.s. this is about the time i came up with the 5000 dollar car loan limit) I asked for 4 grand to buy a car to get me by till I get back on my feet. At first things seemed promising. She said I qualified for a 3% rate and would be calling me with further instructions. She never called back! (Which was kind of a blessing in disquise) when we finally called her back we found out we had some bad credit reporting by our home loan (my fault) after explaining why, she told us again she would give us a call back. After no calls for several days we went into a branch and again let a loan officer know of our situation. He too said he would call us back. Little did we know my home loan restructuring mistake would make a huge impact on our credit score. What once was a valuable 774 score shrunk way down into the 500s. We had bad credit and they were rightfully turning us away. YET! I still feel alot of resentment towards that credit union (which we are still apart of) because yet again he never called us as promised. We called him back and found out we were not approved. At a last ditch effort we went to a competetors credit union and asked them for a loan. Although we didn't get one i have to give the branch manager credit for offering a pathway to an 11% loan which is still better than an in house loan at a used car dealership. To shorten the rest of the story we came home my wife was angry and hurt and she cut up all of my credit cards (which I found out later was not the best idea) I got my car fixed my wife's buisness boomed and I started paying off credit cards at a fast pace. So now the only loan I have is my house! How does it feel? The funny thing is imediately I noticed the difference after my car was paid off. I used to be up to a month behind on bills and when I caught up and still have money in my bank account is an awesome feeling! I own my car! It's mine and I will never have a conventional  car loan again.
I was watching youtube today (which I do a lot of) and instead of searching for any particular genre I decided just to watch anything that came across my front lineup. I saw a video (vlog) that I decided to watch. Not because I was interested in his vlog but because I wanted to find out why it had a million + views. All I saw while watching it was an entitled kid who was married (or had a girlfriend) who had unlimited time on his hands due to? Being independently wealthy? Getting vast amounts of money from YouTube that creates wealth way beyond his means? Or living off his parents and the government that creates a life where he feels he does not need to or want to work and he feels like he has the right to live this lifestyle plus he has a million viewers who feel the same way? I watched another vlogger who was doing the exact same thing. I just skimmed over their videos giving them a generous view which I wish I could take back and all i saw was no responsibility and an endless supply of time and funds to do anything they wanted. Every other video seemed like they were on another adventure at the airport on the plane or traveling somewhere. Occasionally they came back to a nice big backyard with a swimming pool.

Here's my question (and rant for today)

Why are people watching this crap?

Do you not realize they have that lifestyle because you want it. They get paid to do those videos because you wish you could do them. The two I saw had no kids no responsibility and had so much free time on their hands they were coming up with crap to do that even I couldn't come up within my free time.

Stop using your free time watching their free time. It's unfortunate that some people who "have the life" don't have any responsibility.

Do they deserve your view? You work hard for your small paycheck do they really deserve your view?

I don't  mean all youtube channels. I have two in particular that I love to watch. Both don't get as many views but maybe it's because they work? They don't get government funds and one even worked 2 jobs plus did youtube videos and cared for his dying wife.

So here's another story for you. I have finally come to a point in my life where it's time to sell the famous, the one and only fully paid off since I bought it car. Thats right. I haven't done a status update for a while but basically I have completed at least 2 of my 7 goals of life. 1 being no car payments and  2 a house that others would be envious to have. Now if I could own that house and be extremely rich to the point of not worrying about whatever life throws at me that would be awesome but until then I will continue to keep on keepin on like Joe Dirt.

So I finally after moving and having a hectic couple of months I posted my car for sale for 500. For less than 2 average car payments someone can own a car saving them interest and insurance payments!

Anyways ....

After a failed attempt of posting online classifieds I finally found a local facebook  classifieds and posted on there. Imediately I get a phone call. We set up a time and a place to go meet. After a formal buisness type greeting with an entire family the dad and the son take my car for a test drive. They returned and looked very pleased with the way my car handles.

Now before I tell this next part of the story you should know that I have come to a point in my life where I don't need to sell this car. I don't need the money and I will not make an agreement with anyone unless I am comfortable with it.

He proceeds to tell me that my car needs new brakes an oil change and at least a thousand dollars worth of work before he can drive it. At this point I knew the negotiations were on. Really?? For a 500 dollar car that runs and drives, not to mention you have a line of people waiting behind you to look at it, and you still want to negotiate!?! So he offers me 400. After a short chuckle on the inside. I gently tell him in my buisness mannerism that I can't do that. Imediately he offers 450. OK seriously? Is it that important you have to have a discount in order to buy a car?? I tell him again I won't do that and ask him is it really worth the extra 50 dollars to go back to searching for a car when his search could be over. At this point I think I have the sale. They speak some Spanish to each other and the original person I spoke to on the phone says we'll make a decision later.

Seriously??

So on a last ditch effort they all get into their nice Toyota SUV and wait to see if I will cave. They even wait till I've driven almost a half a block before they move.
And I'm not even ranting about the many society benifits they are probably enjoying that I myself have never  taken advantage of.

Anyways I have 2 days to get a few post done. I've been going "stealth" lately. It's so much easier writing exactly how you feel without someone critiquing you. That's why I keep this blog a secret.

More to come.

September's I can't afford it winner

So I'm NOT losing interest in this blog. Problem is I used to write on my work time. In between stops I would write for five minutes and over a course of a day around 45 minutes. Think that's unfair to my employer? Well I don't. I don't think I was paid what I was worth and in some cases my Commission dropped on stops I had done for years. Hostpitals were the worst truly a for profit institution that paid pennies on the dollar while expenocting thousands for their work! One hostpita I serviced paid me around 4 dollars an hour commission equivalent while I owed that same hostpital nearly 2 grand!!
And that is my short rant before announcing our winner of September's "I can't afford it award"

I had 2 contestants this month. One with a SUV I hate and one has my dream truck (or used to be my dream truck) both bought on looks and self gloating and one did at least pan out an investment. At least I could make that argument. Anyways let's get started.

The runner up is a freshly married young guy who's wife became pregnant! Where have I heard this story before?
Here
http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-january-i-cant-afford-itaward-goes.html?m=1

Or here
http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2016/05/mays-i-cant-afford-it-award-winner.html?m=1

Or more recently, here.
http://viscarjones.blogspot.com/2016/08/augest-winner-of-i-cant-afford-it-award.html?m=1
(Psh! I'm going to let you in on a little secret... It's not the babies fault your losing your car.......It's yours.... just thought you would like to know)


Seriously young married couples listen carefully! No dogs and no car loans! Your restricting your freedom! Trust me! Continuing on the runner up for September is this add.

And now I have to admit something.

I forgot to save this add.

So you will have to trust me when I explain it. A young couple was selling there newish Toyota Tacoma for around 16 grand. Why? For 1 they are having a baby and 2 they are moving away to college. Does anybody else see the red flags I am? For 1 they a having a baby while moving to college. You know what that means? Medicaid and free baby food. It is as you and I through our taxes are paying for that truck.

The winner of the "I can't afford it award" for September is
This guy

Still don't like Escalades. Used to but over the years they have been tainted by the people who drive them.

Im going to end on that.

Till next month.

Augest winner of the "I can't afford it award"

I have been so busy lately that I've had no time to complete these awards but without further ado and on the last days of this month I present to you the winner of this month's "I can't afford it" award

Before I do let me say this. I DO NOT like donating to the food bank. I hate  how our welfare system caters to those who continually dig themselves into these holes and expect the rest of us to feel sorry for them and the same goes for my own church welfare. I mean sure it's great but there are still those out there that don't have a clue how the financial world works. They arrive out of high school thinking they can be a parent and buy brand new vehicles only to have the government pay for their dr bills while they buy new vehicles!! And yes I have and do continually see this (stories coming soon). I am going to throw it out there that this couple who is selling this brand new 2016 50K vehicle (SERIOUSLY!!!) Have or will in the near future use one or several of those social programs listed above. It could be medicaid to pay for the baby mentioned in the add. It could be church assistance for rent or mortgage or even the food bank for food!! Why would you or I who have waited half our lives to live in a nice house and have sacrificed time away from our families to provide for them give of our food or our money to help these "poor" individuals who obviously need a brand new high priced vehicles!!

Uhg!!

Anyways back to the award.
(Clearing my throat)

The winner of the 2016 Augest I Can't Afford It Award goes to

The YOUNG couple (who has no clue of the value of a dollar) who clearly thought it was a good idea to impress their family with "their wealth" not to mention all of the people at a stop light they're never going to meet! The ones who pay over 700 a month plus insurance for this truck

And now they are probably the welfare office asking for help...

More to catch up on.

(Again disclamer, not all who use or have used social services due it with the intent to "milk the system". This is not pointed toward everyone)

Cheaper than counseling.

Sometimes I envy those who have parental support and I'm not talking just financial I'm talking about parents helping you out of a bind or showing up when you need them. At the same time I have again and again shared my feelings on how parental support can go both ways. It can be very damaging to give someone a sense of security to the point where they stop working as hard or in some cases stop working all together. A former friend had this happen to him.

Unfortunately he doesn't see it.

 Although his in laws are helping him by providing him with a place to stay at no cost he has relaxed his ambition to the point where he has drastically reduced his career sucess. Here he is 10 years into his marriage and out of those 10, two have been lived outside a parents home. His safety net has grown so big that he has (as far as I know) no ambition or plans to move out.

So I guess I can at least be thankful for parents who have not allowed me to move in with them.

Then again.....

You would think that a parent if asked would lend you SOME support. Maybe make some rules, write up a contract, have an end date you both agree to....

While away at college my second year I felt homesick. It was quite a stressful semester. Both me and my fiancé were struggling financially. She'd help me and then I would turn around and help her. To save money on food we would eat together buy our groceries together and split them. For example, we both didn't drink alot of milk so we saved a half gallon container and then split a gallon. Around Christmas time I decided I wanted to go to my parents house for new years. Unfortunately, (me being a financial guy even back then) I figured out I only had enough money for a one way trip. I made a plan to work a few jobs while up at my parents to get enough money to drive there and back. Murphys Law took affect on our way there. My Rodeo struggled from somewhere in southern Utah all the way up to Idaho. At times my top speed was 45 mph. After making it to our destination I found out a few days later that my rodeo needed a  new fuel filter and unfortunately I used up all my time trying to figure that out. As with most of my siblings at one point or another I decided to ask my parents for some cash to get back home. Let me remind you I'm a poor college student who wanted to go home for the holidays. Most normal parents might give you a few bucks to help you out. Some may even WANT you to come visit for the holidays and may even pay for your trip! Such events must be rare because I've never experienced such a thing.

Anyways back to my main story.

At first my mom said yes. She would lend me the 100 dollars cash. Later that night my mom called me into the kitchen. When I got there my dad was sitting down and there was a hand written contract on the table.

For 100 dollars (plus some previous amounts for insurance) I signed that contract at a 5% interest.

Want to know the rest of the story?

Two days later I payed my parents off!
I had a check in the mail for 900 dollars from a pending insurance claim right when I got back to my house.

That felt good.

Around 2 years later my younger brother decided he was going to become a rich real estate investor and wanted to go to school for that. For 20 GRAND! Found out later that my parents lent him that money. As far as I know without a contract.

That's the back story to my recent experience.

So here I am years later and a few instances later including my sister moving in with my parents temporarily where I finally decided to humble myself and ask my parents for temporary assistance. I called my mom after selling our house and asked her if we could stay temporarily at their place until we find and buy a house. At first the answer was "ok" I wasn't expecting an excited answer but I was expecting a fair judgment call. Something along the lines of " I let my daughter and son in law stay  and have given support to my children who have needed support. My son is asking for temporary support. I don't want to at this time but if the shoe was on the other foot what woul
Would my expectations be"?

Anyways

Again......after a few weeks my mom sends me a text basically telling me to seek a rental because she fears us living with her will cause a disruption in their lifestyle.

I'm sometimes an emotional person and I got to say, that hurt. I try to understand people's decision and why they make them. I try to put myself in their shoes and play out scenarios in my head that they would go through and I seriously thought they would be fine with us living with us. They were not.

Now what?

I ask this question because what happens when the tables are turned. What happens if they need help or a place to stay. Do I stick to obeying the comandment honor thy father and thy mother or do I use that situation as a teaching moment that I feel they need to relearn? I honestly think and hope I would show them I am better than that. I would hope I would just put my feelings aside and figure out what's best short term.

I think I will leave it at that.

Just another post expressing my feelings.

Cheaper than a counseling!