I have been working on some other writing projects but I want to focus on this piece and make sure I get it in before the 21st of this month. Ever since 2015 I have made it a tradition to set my new years goals and resolutions by the 21st of December. That is the shortest day of the year. From that point forward the days start to get longer. Thus the saying, brighter days ahead. I have also made it a tradition to try to resolve negativity in my life. A little back story on why the 21st is such an important date. When I moved into my first house in 2010, there were 2 things I was excited for. Chickens and a garden. Unfortunately those two things could not be purchased or planted until spring. Although we started the purchase process on our house in the spring we didn't move in until July 2. Too late to plant a garden and we didn't want to deal with chickens. Knowing that we were past the summer solstice I looked forward to the winter solstice that year. That meant a new beginning to me. It meant brighter days were ahead and that is why I try to get my goals and resolutions done by that day. Here's the problem. This year has been a HUGE let down. Now to be honest I don't remember right off hand what my resolution was last year but I know I had 2 goals and 2 resolutions. My 2 goals were to get my passport and go on my honeymoon. The passport wasn't needed to go on my honeymoon by the way. I've just never had one and want one bad. The honeymoon WAS in the planning stages this year! A huge leap from years past. In the spring before Corona was a full pandemic we had a sitter willing to stay for an entire week. We had decided not to ask my parents due to my mom's comment at our family reunion. We had at least a rough itenerary. We were going to go on a road trip to San Francisco. Visit places like the winchester mansion and Alcatraz island. We even had hotels in mind. Sunday through Saturday in August we were going to finally get our honeymoon done! Then 2020 happened. For Christmas we bought our family a cruise. My wife, my daughter, and I got terribly sick. My daughter and I had the worst of it. I enjoyed 2 days of our 5 day cruise. The last 3 were in my room most of the time. My fever and muscle pains finally broke the last morning of our cruise. As my wife put it our room smelled like death departure day. In March for my birthday we booked an Airbnb across the street from the ocean in Oregon. A few weeks later we were notified that was cancelled. Our garden was mostly a failure. All our hard work was paid off in some sticky underwaterd corn one very small squash. Some peas and a few rows of carrots that our still out there. We had very little rain fall all summer. Our tomatoes and peppers did ok but the amount of time and money that went into the garden did not produce a fraction of that value back. Anxiety and depression have been a huge issue this year too to the point I finally went to the Dr to get my blood work done. I had my worst panick attack ever on Mother's day morning. I woke up with what I can only describe as brain zapping or brain shakes. This threw me into a full blown panic attack. The entire night every time I'd dose off panic would imediatly awake me. For several months even driving a car would bring on panic attacks. I found taking fish oil, selenium, Dr john's wort, and hemp oil. Kept my symptoms calm. Right as I'm writing this my anxiety is well under control.
Ok so I think I've established that 2020 sucked. The only other thing I want to mention is that up until November of this year our last paycheck was in February. Thanks to a home refinance at the right time and us getting some government aid (for the first time) we were able to survive a financial crisis.
Now the question i have is what are my goals and plans for 2021. What negativity should I be leaving behind and how can I be more positive.
Well that's a tough one. To be honest I'm afraid to even try. I don't even want to set goals for 2021 because 2020 has been such a disaster what is there to even look forward to!
As I was pondering these questions and how should I approach this years winter solstice post I decided that I would just keep last years 2 resolutions and hope for the best. That was suppose to be the end of this post. Fine tune my happiness and fine tune my finances.
But as I thought about it during the days I don't have time to write (some post take weeks or even months to finish) I realized there was more to this post. There is still hope and the world is not going to end in 2021 (at least I'm hoping) 2020 needs to be repaired.
That is my resolution, Repair and mend 2020. Next year my goal is to find resolutions to lingering problems of 2020. It will be my year of repair. This will be physical spiritual mental and financial. I feel I am in need of A LOT of repair. My body is not healthy nor is my mind. I'm overweight and have been increasing in weight year after year. Monetary wise, we have debts I'd like to pay off. I will be working hard on financial success. I pride myself I being money smart.
If 2021 sucks then 2022 will be another year of repair! I'm hoping I'm more spiritual. I feel like I need a better relationship with my heavenly father. I haven't directed this blog to religion or spirituality but every post I write I do it in a spiritual mindset. Aa far as a honeymoon is concerned or my 10 ransom items, they are now in the "we will see" and "pray for" category until further notice. I will just be praying for a honeymoon at this point. I have two kids with braces and a couple of years late for medicaid to cover them so that's where my honeymoon money is going as of right now.
So to end this post, here's a toast with my drink if choice, a can of coke.
To 2021. The year of repair. May we all reflect on things that matter most in our life. Let our worldly desires behind and work on our relationships health and happiness because that is what matters most. May God bless us through whatever is about to come and may we all leave behind negativity in our life and like the day after the winter solstice may our days become brighter and better.
And let it snow!!
